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Battle of the Brands
Gift Cards (2016) Sidebar

Content Update

Season Premiere 2016 Event

Release Dates

September 21, 2016 (Parts 1 - 4)
September 26, 2016 (Parts 5 - 6)

Level Required

5

Number of Quests

6

Battle of the Brands is the main questline of the Season Premiere 2016 Event. Part one to four were released on September 21, 2016. Parts five and six were released on September 26 at 12:00 AM (GMT).

Quest Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Battle of the Brands Pt. 1 Make Homer Take a Personal Day 3h Cash100
XP10
New Lard Lad
Auto
Battle of the Brands Pt. 2 Make Homer Check Mail for Gift Cards
Collect Gift Cards (x12)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Moe's Brewing Co.
Auto
Battle of the Brands Pt. 3 Make Homer Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents
Collect Gift Cards (x12)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
New Lard Lad tarp skin
Auto
Battle of the Brands Pt. 4 Make Homer Search for Donuts
Collect Gift Cards (x25)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Cinnabun
Auto
Battle of the Brands Pt. 5 Make Homer Beg for Gift Cards
Collect Gift Cards (x30)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
New Lard Lad statue skin
Auto
Battle of the Brands Pt. 6 Collect Gift Cards (x36) - Cash100
XP10
Springfield Bowl
Auto

Dialogue Edit

Battle of the Brands Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Dreamy Icon Ah, the coffee break: the sweet spot between beer breakfast and lager lunch.
Lenny Icon If you're looking for donuts, forget about it. Burns is on another health kick: all we got is Kombucha and kale.
Homer Furious Icon No donuts?! This isn't like health insurance, you can't just take it away!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Serious Icon You left work and came all the way home just for donuts?!
Homer Dreamy Icon Some men climb mountains, some explore the oceans depths; I brave traffic in search of the elusive baker's dozen of delicacies!
Marge Annoyed Icon Oh, for the love of... Just go buy some from the Lard Lad.
Homer Confused Icon The tire store?
Marge Icon It's a donut store!
Homer Icon Really?! No wonder the pink tread on my car tires wore right off.

Battle of the Brands Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Confused Icon Have I travelled back to a time before giant boys walked the earth?! Where's the Lard Lad statue?
Robert Chan Icon Relax, folks. I'm Robert Chan, CEO of Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts. I'm here with the flesh-and-blood Lard Lad to announce that we're sunsetting his likeness and rebranding with something fresh and modern.
Lisa Nagging Icon Isn't "sunsetting" just corporate doublespeak for "killing off?"
Moe Icon Makeup on the old mug ain't a bad idea. Maybe I'll do some re-Moe-deling. Youse corporate suits always got good ideas up your sleeves.
Moe Sad Icon Someday I'll have sleeves.
Robert Chan Icon To commemorate the unveiling of our new icon, we've partnered with local businesses to offer gift cards, redeemable at all Lard Lad locations.
Moe Icon As a reviled member of the local business community… I'll pass.
Laird Ladd, the original Lard Lad, is now available in the store. Join him in his battle against relative obscurity and earn extra gift cards!
 
— System Message.


Battle of the Brands Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Happy Icon Since I'm flush with gift cards, this Prince of Plastic demands four dozen of your finest donuts, please.
Squeaky Voice Teen Icon Sorry sir, all these are only good for one donut. Our prices went up to reflect the ostentatious image of our new brand.
Homer Furious Icon What the EpiPen?! A business charging more for the same product?
Quimby Icon Maybe I should glitz up the Quimby image. A little flash might help detract from all my 'er, many broken promises.
Homer Icon If rap culture and the Catholic church have taught us anything, it's that nothing says "classy" like solid gold everything.

Battle of the Brands Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Sleepy Icon Must find... alternative donut. Calories dwindling... pants loosening... shirt buttons relaxing…
Homer Icon Apu, a dozen donuts, stat! Insert directly into this patient's donut hole.
Apu Icon Sorry, Mister Homer, but the health inspector was coming, so I donated my old donuts to the food bank.
Homer Sad Icon Awwww! The needy get all the breaks!
Homer Icon Moe, I normally look to you to get fried but now I need that “fried” to be donuts.
Moe Icon Sorry, all I got is a pickled egg with the yolk missin'. Damn rats love my yolks!
Homer Sad Icon Let the rats have their yolks. I'll find my own donuts.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Scared Icon Here donut-donut-donut! Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Battle of the Brands Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Lenny Icon These new donuts are great! There's “fresh rebranded” flavor in every bite.
Carl Icon They're snackable, munchable, swallowable and a bunch of other “ables” that I'll make up later!
Homer Angry Icon Damn my voracious donut envy! Gimme one!
Squeaky Voice Teen Icon Sorry sir, the price has gone up again. Just like college tuition, if something is more expensive, it makes people want it more.
Homer Furious Icon As a Springfield College grad, I say that's stupid! Now gimme-gimme!!

Battle of the Brands Pt. 6 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Laird Ladd Surprised Icon You tore down my image for this?! Someone tell me where the face is on this thing so I can spit in it!
Lisa Alarmed Icon It's like a Salvador Dali [sic] sculpture gone horribly wrong.
Homer Mouthfull Icon The statue may be a melted mess but these new donuts are great. I can feel the dark donut-less cloud lifting from over my head.
Lisa Icon That's the actual clouds, Dad. Look, the sun is coming out.
Sideshow Mel Surprised Icon The Cronenbergian monstrosity has become a thermodynamic weapon!
Professor Frink Icon Snell's bells! Refraction claims another victim, with the focused light and the BURNing!
Robert Chan Annoyed Icon Well, this was a bust. At least we managed to drum up business with all the hype.
Squeaky Voice Teen Icon Actually sir, we haven't made a single cent. Everyone's been paying with the free gift cards.
Robert Chan Surprised Icon Recall those cards before Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts stock plummets and we're bought out!
Mr. Burns Diabolical Icon Hellooo...

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