"We need more donuts! Do it before Homer eats them all!"
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The Black Friday 2016 Promotion was the 3rd of the Black Friday sales since the game's release. It was released on November 25, 2016 at 8:00 AM (GMT), during The Most Dangerous Game 2016 Event, and lasted until November 28, 2016 at 8:00 AM (GMT) where the Cyber Monday deal started. Gil offered various premium items where some of the Donuts of the purchase were rebated. It is always after Thanksgiving.
On November 28th at 8:00 AM (GMT), Gil introduced a new deal, the decoration Yard Work Simulator which unlocks C.H.U.M. for 175 Donuts. This deal in comparison to the Black Friday's one doesn't have a rebate and will last until December 1 at 8:00 AM (GMT).
Dialogue[]
The Purge... of High Prices![]
Character
Dialogue
What's that rumbling? Homer, are you brewing your own booze again?
Not yet, but I soon will be because it's Black Friday: the day people riot for meager savings. Even on home brewing kits.
Oh, no! That means...
Black Friday (Day 1)[]
Character
Dialogue
Ol' Gil's back with more stuff than he can fit in his cardboard box slash house slash office slash fire hazard!
How can you be a part of a capitalist practice that gets rowdy enough to have its own death count?
There's very few deaths, just lots of light trampling. And if someone dies, I'm at their funeral, pocketing cheese cubes like there's no tomorrow.
Offer Ignored[]
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Dialogue
Oh, it's just like the old Black Fridays, when they'd lay me off before the paychecks were cut. They said I wasn't worth the envelope.
After Making a Purchase[]
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Dialogue
Thanks, crafty consumer! What better way to be thankful, than to have more THINGS to be thankful for! Materialism's the best… I've heard.
Black Friday (Day 2)[]
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Dialogue
Ol' Gil's here to fan the flames with riot-provoking prices on things he can't afford!
Black Friday exploits the desperation of the ninety-nine percent, making them scrap and fight for discounts of ten percent. Like everything, this is about injustice and math.
Not today. I'm offering bargain basement prices! I got the idea because I once lived in a basement. Whenever it flooded or the radiator boiled over, I got myself a free bath!
Offer Ignored[]
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Dialogue
But if you don't spend money, Big Business wins! More importantly, Gil loses!
After Making a Purchase[]
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Dialogue
No better way to stick it to those fat cats than having Gil join their social elite. Speaking of, my Thanksgiving dinner last year was a fat cat.
Tasted horrible.
Black Friday (Day 3)[]
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Dialogue
It's Black Friday and ol' Gil is pulling out all the stops! Everything must go! Prices are being evicted just like I've been!
This sale has gotten out of hand. I don't feel safe leaving my own home.
Then oh boy, has Gil got the solution for you: arms and armaments, priced as low as your kids' allowance!
Offer Ignored[]
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Dialogue
Don't blame me the next time you incite an angry mob and have no way of fending them off.
That's how I lost my bindle. And my kidney.
After Making a Purchase[]
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Dialogue
Nothing says "keep off the grass" like a weapon of mass destruction!
Domo Arigato[]
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Dialogue
Well, we survived another Black Friday unscathed.
I got a little scathed.
Uh... aren't you guys forgetting something?
Cyber Monday[]
Character
Dialogue
It's Cyber Monday! Because the one thing Black Friday needed was more of it!
Haven't you done enough? This rampant consumerism has alienated us from all our friends. Or in my case, acquaintances.
Who needs friends, when ol' Gil is selling the Friend two-point-oh! He's a companion, butler and paperweight, all rolled into one.
Offer Declined[]
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Dialogue
Fine, who needs you! Gil will keep this little buddy for himself. You an' me will be inseparable, ol' chum.
I'm not supposed to be here. Please reconsider. And shower.
Offer Accepted[]
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Dialogue
You won't be sorry. When the robot apocalypse comes, you'll have a man on the inside!