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Declaration of Co-Dependence
Gerogewashington

Event

4th July 2014 Event

Released Date

July 2, 2014

Number of Quests

7

Declaration of Co-Dependence is a questline from the 4th July 2014 Event featuring George Washington.

QuestsEdit

Quest Requirements Time Triggered by
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1 Make Washington Hunt for Jebediah Springfield 24h Washington
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2 Make Washington Write a Tell-All 4h Washington
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3 Make Washington Plan an Invasion of Britain 8h Lisa
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4 Make Washington Recruit an Army 24h Washington
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5 Make Washington Reject Praise 6h Washington
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6 Make Washington Flee Admirers 16h Washington
Ye Olde Cherry Tree Make Washington Cut Down a Cherry Tree 12h Washington

DialogueEdit

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
George Washington Icon "Previous to the execution of any official act of the President--"
"WHAT THE? WHERE DID PHILADELPHIA GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHY IS “QUICKY MART” SPELLED SO ATROCIOUSLY?"
Lisa Icon "Mr. Washington, you've been brought forward in time to the town of Springfield, in America."
"It seems to happen to ex-Presidents a lot."
George Washington Icon "Forward in time? How old is America?"
Lisa Icon "Two hundred and forty-two years."
George Washington Icon "You're kidding me, right? That's a joke? Because I told Jefferson I gave this country a decade. Tops."
"He was all: “Liberty is mankind's natural state!” And I was “Yada yada yada... ten years, chump. Bank on it.”
"Still, it's cool to be wrong! So, tell me about this town."
Lisa Icon "Springfield is named after its founder, Jebediah Springfield."
"You would've known him as 'Hans Sprungfeld' in your time."
George Washington Icon "SPRUNGFELD?! THAT GUY HAS A TOWN NAMED AFTER HIM? Oh, man. Where is he?"
"He's going to be picking wooden teeth out of his neck for a month."

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
George Washington Icon "Okay, so Sprungfeld is dead. Everyone I know is dead. I get it. So now what?"
Lisa Icon "Professor Frink is trying to find a way to send you home. In the meantime..."
"You might find you like it here. Our previous ex-President seems very happy."
Abraham Lincoln Icon "You want to keep it down, please? I can barely hear myself split rails here, people."
George Washington Icon "Sheesh. That guy was President?!"
Lisa Icon "Number sixteen."
George Washington Icon "He's so gangly-looking. Doesn't really scream “President,” you know?"
"I guess people will elect anything."

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2Edit

Character Dialogue
George Washington Icon "You know why America has a bicameral legislature, right?"
Lisa Icon "Uh... because it's a good way to keep power from consolidating in one body?"
George Washington Icon "Nope. Because when we were tossing around ideas for a new government-- just brain jamming, you know -- some idiot throws out the term “bicameral legislature.”"
"And everybody just latches onto it."
"You know that thing where everyone's trying to sound hip and smart by using the hot new term? So annoying!"
"Every time I heard the words, I couldn't decide whether to fall asleep or kill myself."
"Just totally nuts. I voted for the thing just to shut everyone up."
Lisa Icon "This is incredible! Our scholars need to know this stuff. You've got to commit your memories to paper."
George Washington Icon "Seriously, if I told you all the dirt I've got on John Adams, you'd flip your powdered wig. Dude was MESSED UP."

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3Edit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "I hope you're not finding modern-day America too strange, Mr. Washington."
George Washington Icon "Nah."
"It'll always be America, so long as people continue to live free, toss their excrement in the streets, and hate the British."
Lisa Icon "Actually England is our closest ally now."
George Washington Icon ...
"You want to repeat that, little lady?"
Lisa Icon "Uh... we've had a lot of time to repair relations..."
George Washington Icon “Repair relations”? With a country that is way more powerful than us?"
"AND wants nothing more than to make us her colony again?"
Lisa Icon "Well, first of all, our military is a lot bigger than theirs now."
George Washington Icon "Then we should attack immediately, before they have time to raise conscripts!"
"Unless, of course, you'd prefer to see musky-carrying redcoats on every street corner in the nation."
"Summon my war council!"

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4Edit

Character Dialogue
George Washington Icon "Okay, if our ships leave Boston tomorrow, we can reach England in two months."
"We'll rendezvous with Hessian mercenaries -- little girl, remind me to write a letter to Hessia, get that ball rolling."
Lisa Icon "Hessian mercenaries aren't the military force they once were..."
George Washington Icon "We will then move inland and seize the royal saltpeter mines."
"I'd like to see King George try to fight a war without saltpeter. Heh-heh-heh..."
"With a combined force of 20,000 we will easily subdue all of England."
"What do you think, Lisa Simpson? An elegant plan, no?"
Lisa Icon "You really think 20,000 men armed with muskets will do any good against tanks and machine guns and missiles?"
George Washington Icon "If we have enough horses, yes."
"I also plan on doubling gin rations, to boost morale. A drunk army is an effective army."
"All we need now is the men!"

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5Edit

Character Dialogue
George Washington Icon "Okay, I've been traveling door-to-door all day, and so far I've got ZERO recruits for my Grand Army of the Brit-Hating Republic."
"What's happened to the England-detesting nation of proud Limey-stranglers I love? Where's our fighting spirit?"
Lisa Icon "Seriously. The English are our friends. Very nice people. Good music."
George Washington Icon "And the most annoying thing?"
"Everyone's just falling all over themselves to thank me: “You're the Father of Our Country!” “Thank you, George Washington!"
"If you love me so much, get in the boat and help me stick a cannon ball in Big Ben."
Wiggum Icon "George Washington! Thank you for everything, sir."
"Thank you for your wisdom, and your strength, and for being everything a man can be. I mean EVERYTHING!"
George Washington Icon "Uh-huh. Look, that's very nice, but I'm just a guy. Happy to be of service. No need to go crazy, pal."

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6Edit

Character Dialogue
Apu Icon "George Washington! It's really him! The greatest real-life superhero of all!"
"Thanks for being the best Founding Father a country could ask for! We love you!"
George Washington Icon "Fine. That's very fine. Thank you. Go away."
Lisa Icon "They're just trying to show their appreciation, sir."
George Washington Icon "But they act like I'm some sort of saint. It's seriously creepy."
"Did you know there are guys on the Supreme Court who think laws should be based on what me and my friends were thinking about more than two centuries ago?"
"We didn't have electricity. And trust me -- most of the time when we were writing constitutions and laws, we were thinking about what to order for dinner."
"I'm just a guy. And I'm really happy that America worked out so well. That rocks. But again, just a guy."
Skinner Icon "Excuse me, Mr. Washington. I'm like your biggest fan ever, and--"
George Washington Icon "I owned slaves. Did you know that? It stinks, but it's true. So please leave me alone."
Skinner Icon "Well, you must have had a very good reason."
George Washington Icon "THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR OWNING SLAVES. Augh! You people are beyond weird!"

Ye Olde Cherry TreeEdit

Character Dialogue
George Washington Icon "Okay, still think I'm perfect? Watch this. This'll prove I'm no saint. I'm going to cut down this cherry tree."
"Then, when you ask me if I cut it down, I AM GOING TO LIE ABOUT IT. There! Still think I'm all that?"
Skinner Icon "But, sir, everyone KNOWS George Washington can't tell a lie."
George Washington Icon "WHAT GROWN MAN IS INCAPABLE OF LYING?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HERE, WATCH!"

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