Trap Bigclaw [Collect Pelts (x250)] Make Homer and Bigclaw Work Out Their Differences
- 3h
100 10 Hunt the Most Dangerous Game Animated Job
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Dialogue[]
The Most Dangerous Game Pt. 1[]
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I've asked you all here for the most important job a man can have.
If it's being a father, I'm over that. Big time.
No. It's catching a giant, possibly non-existent, bird sort of thing.
I'll find your beast, and I'll gut it, stuff it, and mount it for free.
What if I just want you to find it?
That'll cost you. I don't like to break up the package deal.
“
Enlist Springfield's deadliest hunter on your quest to find Bigclaw. Grant Connor and Springfield Hunting Supplies are now available in the store!
”
— System Message.
The Most Dangerous Game Pt. 2[]
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Please, won't you reconsider this? Is it really worth killing a poor animal just to prove a crazy theory?
Killing animals is the American way. Just think about Groundhog Day.
The groundhog doesn't die on Groundhog Day!
It does the way I celebrate. And you should see what I do to a bald eagle every fourth of July!
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What're you people doing out here? I'm trying to unwind by shooting cans off a fence. Gunplay is my yoga.
We're hunting the most dangerous fence can of them all – Bigclaw.
That sounds exciting. Maybe I could be your tracker. I did track these cans to their natural habitat – this fence.
I don't usually make snap decisions, but you're hired! For double whatever you normally charge. No, triple! Double triple!
“
Buck McCoy is now available in the store to join Homer's quest. Celebrities: is there anything they can't do?
”
— System Message.
The Most Dangerous Game Pt. 3[]
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Why are there so many animals? I've already seen seven different kinds of scat.
Uh, not all that's from the animals.
You scared them all out of the forest when you tried to flush out Bigclaw. And now these poor animals are going to get hurt.
Relax, honey, we're here to hurt a totally different poor animal.
So you won't hurt these animals?
I won't, no. Not I.
“
Tap wild animals to earn extra pelts!
”
— System Message.
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Thanks to the Sky Finger, all these animals now have a wildlife sanctuary. Like a beautiful zoo without cages stopping the predators from eating everyone.
Zoos rock! Everything tastes better when you drink it out of a giraffe head where the straw's his neck!
I've done that.
The Most Dangerous Game Pt. 4[]
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Well now we're just back where we started – albeit with a bunch of new swag.
I guess the Bible is right; there is more to tracking animals than looking around and hoping.
We need to step things up using food as bait. Ironic – I always thought I would be the only thing to die while eating.
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Oh, nothing's happening. Bigclaw is probably just a lie made up by hillbillies. Like saying you can play music on spoons.
...
Oh my God, it's Bigclaw! He came when I stopped believing in him, just like heart disease!
...
Uh oh. He's mad ‘cause he knows we tried to kill him. Turkeys are so sensitive.
The Most Dangerous Game Pt. 5[]
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I don't know why, but I thought something called “Bigclaw” would be more gentle. It's a monster!
Not a monster, but a scientific effort to make bigger holiday turkeys. Perhaps there is a downside to playing God…
And an upside -- a two-hundred-pound turkey dinner! Can I order two of them?
There's only one, and a white shirt and blue pants will do nothing to protect you. Do you have anything else to wear?
I have another white shirt and blue pants, but I only wear them for weddings. Oh, and there's my bear suit. I suppose it could be repurposed...
“
Let your food come to life! The Pet Mutant Plant is now available in the store.
”
— System Message.
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There, it fits just like a glove.
Yeah, like a glove you've jammed your fat, bald body into.
So just like I said. A glove.
“
Engage in the endless struggle between man and beast! You've unlocked the "Fight Bigclaw" animated job for Homer.
”
— System Message.
The Most Dangerous Game Pt. 6[]
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There's something about a homemade suit that really gets the killing juices flowing.
No offense, Dad, but I think all that's flowing is sweat.
Sweat is a killing juice, look it up. Now, as soon as I can muster up the energy to move under all this weight, I can stumble towards getting revenge on Bigclaw.
Dad, I know I ask you this a lot, but… is this really a good idea?
If I thought about my actions beforehand, none of you kids would've ever been born. And then I wouldn't even be able to ignore your question, so… uh, hakuna matata.
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Dad, I'm begging you: don't kill it!
*OOOLULLLU*
Wait, I think he's trying to tell me something.
*OOOLULLLU*
That's what she said! Lisa, this guy's hilarious. And even better, he thinks I am!
So you're… friends now?
We're enemies. We hate each other… NOT!
Dear Player, my Dad's lines are intentionally stupid to highlight that he has the intelligence and comic sensibility of a turkey.
If you laughed at any of these jokes, you should feel as bad as we do for writing them.
“
Bystanders beware! You've unlocked Homer's "Hunt the Most Dangerous Game" animated job.