Burns Almighty is a side questline that was released on December 6, 2016, for the Winter 2016 Event. It requires New God Mr. Burns, an outfit for Mr. Burns.
Quests[]
Quest
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Requirements
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Time
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Reward
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Triggered By
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Burns Almighty Pt. 1
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Make Smithers Research Paganism Make Mr. Burns Dream About Being a God
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8h 8h
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100 10
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Mr. Burns
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Burns Almighty Pt. 2
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Place The New God Mr. Burns Statue
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-
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100 10
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Mr. Burns
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Burns Almighty Pt. 3
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Make Smithers Order a Custom Muscle Suit Online Make Mr. Burns Wait Impatiently in His Office
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4h 4h
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100 10
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Mr. Burns
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Burns Almighty Pt. 4
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Make New God Mr. Burns Show Off the Guns
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4h
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100 10
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Mr. Burns
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Burns Almighty Pt. 5
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Make New God Mr. Burns Check Himself Out Make Smithers Think of a Plan B
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8h 8h
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100 10
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Mr. Burns
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Burns Almighty Pt. 6
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Make New God Mr. Burns Put On a Show
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12h
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100 10
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Mr. Burns
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Dialogue[]
Burns Almighty Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Barbarians at the gate, Smithers! Drat, I TOLD Hadrian his precious wall wasn't high enough.
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It's just the usual gang of idiots, sir. Not barbarians. They're experimenting with Paganism.
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A new religion, eh? So the God of Abraham finally got the boot. I told him this would happen.
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Smithers, learn as much as you can about this “Paganism.” Let's see if we can turn this to my advantage...
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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What have you found, Smithers? Report!
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They're worshipping an eclectic assortment of deities. Loki, Poseidon...
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Poseidon?! We went to boarding school together. Captain of the water polo team, but not very impressive upstairs.
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Uh, the Pagans seem to spend most of their time making offerings to the gods.
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Offerings? I like offerings...
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Burns Almighty Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Smithers, if these goat men and witchy women are going to worship anyone, I want it to be me.
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Make a god of me. Is that so much to ask?
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What about a 60 foot statue depicting you as an almighty dispenser of justice?
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Ugh. Justice is really not my bag. But if you think they'll buy it...
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Smithers? Why don't the people kneel before me?
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There is, perhaps, a *slight* physical difference between this statue of a muscle-bound Adonis and, uh, you. Sir.
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I don't think they recognize you.
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Burns Almighty Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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We have to transform my body to match this statue, Smithers!
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I must become the awe-inspiring embodiment of physical might!
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I'll renew your gym subscription and stock up on whey protein...
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No gyms! No Schwarzenegger-ian Ferrigno, I.
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Find another way...
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Is the muscle suit here? Let me see it, man!
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Not yet, sir. The make-up department from BHO's “Game of Chairs” is hard at work.
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In related news, there's a rumor online that you've been cast as the Ice Zombie King for Season 7.
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Bah! I don't watch the show. I'm books-only.
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Burns Almighty Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Good news sir, we've received your muscle suit!
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Oof! *wheeze* This thing weighs *wheeze* a ton!
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Tell me *wheeze* Smith-- *wheeze* --ers, am I the very picture *wheeze* of robust *wheeze-wheeze* might?
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Uhhhh...
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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I don't understand *wheeze*. Why are *gasp* people not *wheeze-cough* awed by me?
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I am deeply sorry sir.
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Burns Almighty Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Smithers, you will make me a god, or I'll have your hide!
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Well, sir, you're already a god to me...
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...
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I'll get to work.
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Sir, I have an idea!
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Burns Almighty Pt. 6[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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We want to impress the people so much that they worship you, right?
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Then we must give them... spectacle! Hollywood-quality special effects! Pyrotechnics!
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A production worthy of Hollywood's Golden Age!
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You mean now? Because I consider this to be Hollywood's Golden Age.
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Seriously, did you SEE “Zoolander 2?” Pure movie magic.
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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Arrgh...
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Sir? Sir! Are you alright?
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God...is...dead.
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Don't die on me, sir. Please don't die.
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I'm only being dramatic, you nitwit. I'm naturally flame-retardant. Benefits of petrifyingly-advanced old age.
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