You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello
Content Update	Homer the Heretic 2017 Event
Level Required	7
Release Date	January 9, 2017
Number of Quests	5

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello is a premium questline that was released on January 9, 2017, during the Homer the Heretic 2017 Event. It requires the character Rabbi Krustofsky.

Quests

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 1	Make Rabbi Krustofsky Attempt a Ghostly Hug and Pass Right Through	4h	100 10	Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 2	Make Hyman Grudgingly Admit that Kosher Food Tastes like Dirt	4h	100 10	Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 3	Make Rabbi Krustofsky Go to Shabbat Services Make Krusty Get Bottle Service	4h 4h	100 10	Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 4	Make Krusty Hold the Centerfold Like a Torah Make Rabbi Krustofsky Actually Read a Torah	4h 4h	100 10	Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 5	Make Rabbi Krustofsky Say the Blessing Over the Chocolate Fountain	4h	100 10	Rabbi Krustofsky

Dialogue

Rabbi Krustofsky Intro

This section was only available during the Homer the Heretic 2017 Event

Character	Dialogue
	Hey God, little favor to ask you: can I go down and help get my son Krusty back on the path to righteousness?
	Not up to me. It's up to Sky Finger.
	THAT'S not up to you? Then what do you do, exactly?
	Help professional sports teams win games so they can thank me in the post-game interviews!

“	Rabbi Krustofsky and his synagogue are now available in the store!	”
	— System Message.

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 1

Start

Character	Dialogue
	Hello, Krusty.
	AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
	No need to worry -- it's me, your father, visiting from Heaven.
	Phew. I thought it was me from the future and I'd become a rabbi.

End

Character	Dialogue
	So, do you want to know what death feels like?
	I know what it's like to die -- I performed in blackface once at the Apollo.

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 2

Character	Dialogue
	So what do you usually order at this restaurant?
	The roasted pork, pork and beans, and the pork soup. All served in a plate made from a melted-down menorah.
	Oy vey. Don't they have anything kosher here?
	Pardon, we do not. But we do have something that tastes like kosher!
	One large bowl of dirt, rapidement!

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 3

Character	Dialogue
	Thank God it's Friday!
	I will when I go back. I assume you'll be resting on the Sabbath?
	Of course! I'll lie on the couch to rest my body, and then I'll put on college football to rest my mind, and then I'll eat pizza to rest my hunger...
	And then in the evening I'll go to the bar to rest my thirst, and then I'll go clubbing to rest the part of me that doesn't go clubbing.

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 4

Character	Dialogue
	There's a symposium on Israel at the Temple today. Want to check it out with me?
	Uh...sorry, I can't. I'm busy studying the classic texts.
	How wonderful! Let me see which ones.
	Playboy from December 1984?
	Yep, a true classic: the Suzanne Somers issue!

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 5

Character	Dialogue
	SURPRISE!!!!!!
	A surprise party? But it's not my birthday.
	This isn't a birthday party. It's your $150,000 Bar Mitzvah!
	But I already had a Bar Mitzvah.
	Doesn't matter. Like all Bar Mitzvahs, this is just an excuse for parents to impress their influential friends.
	A cotton candy machine AND a make your own sundae bar? You da man, Krustofsky!