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Free Hugs
Tapped Out Unlock Kang

Event

Treehouse of Horror XXV Event

Released Date

October 7, 2014

Number of Quests

7

Succeeded By

The Whole Truth

Free Hugs is the starting questline of the Treehouse of Horror XXV Event.

QuestsEdit

Quest Requirements Time Triggered By
Free Hugs Pt. 1 Build the Make-a-Thing Workshop
Make Kang Watch Housefly Drone Camera Footage
8h Game
Treat Yourself Make Lisa Go Trick of Treating 8h Lisa
Free Hugs Pt. 2 Make Lisa Question Kang's Motives 45s
Free Hugs Pt. 3 Collect Aliens Squished --
Free Hugs Pt. 4 Use the Make-a-Thing Workshop to Craft a Weapon --
Free Hugs Pt. 5 Collect Aliens Squished x20 --
Trick Yourself Send Youngsters Trick or Treating x3 8h
Trick or Treat Send Youngsters Trick or Treating x10
Open treat bags x10
8h

DialogueEdit

Free Hugs Pt. 1Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon "Hey there. You're new in town, aren't you?"
"I'm a police officer, in case you're wondering why I'm so astute."
Kang Icon "You do seem pretty sharp."
Lisa Icon "Chief Wiggum! He's not a visitor to our town, he's a hostile alien. Arrest him and call out the national guard."
Wiggum Icon "I was gonna do that. That's the procedure for all visitors."
"I think it may be why our tourism industry is in the dumper."
Kang Icon "Wait! I have fled the lush tyranny of Rigel VII to seek asylum in this trailer park of a planet: Earth."
Lisa Icon "Oh, Chief Wiggum, we've got to help him! Kang is a defector, like Rudolph Nureyev or Martina Navratilova!"
Wiggum Icon "Yeah, but those guys could do stuff and this thing's just a drooling squid."
Kang Icon "I wish to be an Earthling now and follow Earthling customs."
"Our drone cameras report that you saliva-swallowing bipeds enjoy building useless 2-D buildings."
"I shall build the most useless, most two-dimensional building of all!"
Lisa Icon "Wait, did you say drone cameras?"
Kang Icon "Silence foolish Earth-tween! If you are accusing me of breeding organic, living camera drones that resemble Earth's housefly..."
"and then abandoning the project because we got too much footage of dog poo, you are paranoid!"
Lisa Icon "Just build your building."

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "So what kind of store did you build, Mr. Kang?"
Kang Icon "It is genius!"
"I provide plush-bear skins and people pay to labor like third-world child-slaves, stuffing and putting sunglasses on them."
Lisa Icon "I guess you'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."
Kang Icon "Look at the accessories! There's even a tiny wheel chair!"
Lisa Icon "And a little boombox! I wanna make one!"
Kang Icon "Yes! Stuff! Stuff like there's no tomorrow!"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Treat YourselfEdit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "I might skip trick-or-treating this year."
"There's so much hunger in the world, I feel guilty getting candy from strangers just because I'm wearing green makeup and a latex wart."
Kang Icon "Nonsense. You "liked" that Upworthy video about Darfur. You've gone above and beyond to stop world hunger!"
Lisa Icon "Maybe you're right. And I did make that Ethiopian baby sleeping next to a goat carcass my profile picture. I deserve a treat!"
Kang Icon "Mother Teresa never felt guilty about trick or treating. Go and don't come back till your pillowcase strains at the seams."

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "What a haul! This might be my best year ever!"
"What's this? Who gave me a nail?"
Bart Icon "Remember Professor Frink built that robot that was giving out treats."
Lisa Icon "Oh. Are nails candy to robots?"
Bart Icon "Nah. I think it was just falling apart."

Free Hugs Pt. 2Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "You were right to insist I go trick-or-treating, Mr. Kang. I had a great time."
Kang Icon "You deserve it. Now don't be shy -- eat your candy!"
Lisa Icon "Thank you, I will."
Kang Icon "Yes, eat and fatten yourself!"

"Then relax by soaking in some olive oil with garden and lemon zest overnight in the refrigerator!"

Lisa Icon "Hmmm, you're starting to sound like the people-eating Rigellian you used to be."
Kang Icon "What? No! I am now one of you. Can't you tell by my fanny pack and my tramp stamp?"
Lisa Icon "Hmm…"

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Kang Icon "Enough of this grilling! I'll tell you everything. I'm setting you up for a Rigellian invasion. In fact, it's already begun!"
Lisa Icon "I didn't even start questioning you yet - all I asked is if you wanted a drink."
Kang Icon "Oh, In that case… I'LL TELL YOU NOTHING, IMPUDENT GIRL-COW!"
"And I'll take an iced tea."
Lisa Icon "Yeah, I think I'm gonna go alert everyone to the invasion."
Kang Icon "Great Gas God! She knows about the invasion!!"
Kang Icon "Quickly! Begin phase two of the invasion. Codename: Phase Two!"

Free Hugs Pt. 3Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Kang Icon "People of Earth, cower before the approaching Rigellian onslaught!"
Homer Icon "They're smaller than I expected…"
Kang Icon "Our army is made of juveniles who are old enough to fight but too young to vote."
It's the only way we get to fight the really cool, stupid wars."
Homer Icon "Well, I'm not afraid. We have a secret weapon! Prepare to be squished by The Sky Finger!"

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Kang Icon "Ha, ha, ha, ha! Your impotent squishings do nothing!"
"Our troops are wearing a protective film, much like the tinted windows of your Earth limousines."
"In my short time as an Earthling, I really got into the whole club scene. You know, VIP rooms, bottle service…"
"But that is neither here for any other place!"
"Prepare for your future as livestock!"
Homer Icon "I already came up with the squishing them idea."
"If the survival of humanity depends on me coming up with another idea, we are ska-rewed."

Free Hugs Pt. 4Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Those aliens are going to eat me first for sure."
"Oh, why do my loins have to be so marbled?!"
Professor Frink Icon "Before we start talking about the quality of our body meat, let's find a way to resist the moiven-occupation!"
"I can engineer a super-weapon!"
"I just need a small, metal, nail-like object."
Lisa Icon "I got a nail in my treat bag. Will that work?"
Professor Frink Icon "Well, it's a little on the nose, but we don't have time for subtlety."

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon "Good glavin, look what I found here next to the teddy-bear-stuffing-injector! The Rigellians have a re-moleculizor!"
"This fascinating machine can take any thing and turn it into a different thing! With the molecules and reconfiguring and the---"
Lisa Icon "Don't get distracted, Professor! You have to get to work on that weapon."
Professor Frink Icon "Oh, I've already made the super-weapon. It's there on the counter."
Lisa Icon "You hammered a nail into a piece of scrap wood?"
Professor Frink Icon "I also installed a decal that said, "Awesome!" but it, uh, did not stick. Ahoy-vun."

Free Hugs Pt. 5Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "We're doomed! We can't fight off an army of aliens invaders with a board with a nail in it!"
Kang Icon "A board with a nail in it?!"
"Retreat! Retreat!"
"Our protective film is worthless if it gets scratched even a little!"
Homer Icon "Sky Finger, squish now! While they are vulnerable! Squish like you've never squished before!"

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Woo hoo! The town is completely clear of aliens! Time to get back yo our regular, fulfilling lives."
Kang Icon "You fool! Just because you have cleared your town of Rigellians doesn't mean you have prevailed."
"We will continue to send small numbers of your Springfield over the course of approximately one Earth month."
"Maybe longer. Sometimes we extend these things for a week or two after we say we're going to."
Homer Icon "Why don't you just send everyone at once and get it over with?"
Kang Icon "Ha, ha, ha, ha! As if your Earth phones could handle that many Rigellians on screen at the same time!"
We Want You...to squish Rigellians. Fight the good fight and win exclusive prizes.
 
— In Game Message


Trick YourselfEdit

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon "A-ha! Using the Rigellian re-moleculizor I was able to transform this Hello Kitty plush toy..."
"...into a much more masculine Hockey Playing Hello Kitty plush toy!"
Lisa Icon "You didn't need a machine for that. You could have just changed her jersey and removed some of her teeth."
Professor Frink Icon "Regardless! This experiment proves that we can use the re-moleculizor to change Halloween candies into… well, other things."
Lisa Icon "Nobody's going to want to trick-or-treat during an alien invasion!"
Keep earning Treat Bags and reconfigure treats into prizes at the Make-a-Thing Workshop... for a limited time!
 
— In Game Message
Homer Icon "Limited time?! But I want everything!"
Bart Icon "Me too! Trick-or-Treat! Go! Go! NOW!"
Lisa Icon *sigh* "I'll get my costume."

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