"Hey there. You're new in town, aren't you?" "I'm a police officer, in case you're wondering why I'm so astute."
"You do seem pretty sharp."
"Chief Wiggum! He's not a visitor to our town, he's a hostile alien. Arrest him and call out the national guard."
"I was gonna do that. That's the procedure for all visitors." "I think it may be why our tourism industry is in the dumper."
"Wait! I have fled the lush tyranny of Rigel VII to seek asylum in this trailer park of a planet: Earth."
"Oh, Chief Wiggum, we've got to help him! Kang is a defector, like Rudolph Nureyev or Martina Navratilova!"
"Yeah, but those guys could do stuff and this thing's just a drooling squid."
"I wish to be an Earthling now and follow Earthling customs." "Our drone cameras report that you saliva-swallowing bipeds enjoy building useless 2-D buildings." "I shall build the most useless, most two-dimensional building of all!"
"Wait, did you say drone cameras?"
"Silence foolish Earth-tween! If you are accusing me of breeding organic, living camera drones that resemble Earth's housefly..." "and then abandoning the project because we got too much footage of dog poo, you are paranoid!"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Your impotent squishings do nothing!" "Our troops are wearing a protective film, much like the tinted windows of your Earth limousines." "In my short time as an Earthling, I really got into the whole club scene. You know, VIP rooms, bottle service…" "But that is neither here for any other place!" "Prepare for your future as livestock!"
"I already came up with the squishing them idea." "If the survival of humanity depends on me coming up with another idea, we are ska-rewed."
"Good glavin, look what I found here next to the teddy-bear-stuffing-injector! The Rigellians have a re-moleculizor!" "This fascinating machine can take any thing and turn it into a different thing! With the molecules and reconfiguring and the---"
"Don't get distracted, Professor! You have to get to work on that weapon."
"Oh, I've already made the super-weapon. It's there on the counter."
"You hammered a nail into a piece of scrap wood?"
"I also installed a decal that said, "Awesome!" but it, uh, did not stick. Ahoy-vun."
"Woo hoo! The town is completely clear of aliens! Time to get back yo our regular, fulfilling lives."
"You fool! Just because you have cleared your town of Rigellians doesn't mean you have prevailed." "We will continue to send small numbers of your Springfield over the course of approximately one Earth month." "Maybe longer. Sometimes we extend these things for a week or two after we say we're going to."
"Why don't you just send everyone at once and get it over with?"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha! As if your Earth phones could handle that many Rigellians on screen at the same time!"
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