"I'm really excited to see Native America finally represented in our town Chief!"
"Thank you Lisa, it's nice to feel welcome in spite of my current price point." "Speaking of money, would you like to help me get started on my mission to break down the walls of cultural insensitivity and ignorance?
"I'd love to! What would you like me to do? Hand out pamphlets? Organize protests? Burn an effigy? I've always wanted to burn an eggify."
"No, no. Nothing quite so involved. I just need an unpaid volunteer to help me deliver Casino Vouchers."
"...for some kind of a unification ceremony?"
"No, to advertise the casino. Social Security checks come today, and I want to fleece the oldies before they have time to deposit their money."
*sigh* "I'm trying to like you, but you're not making it easy."
"I'm sorry about all these terrible jokes Chief. You're not really getting the writers when they're at their best. Kind of dregs, really." "Speaking of dregs, let me introduce you to Comic Book Guy."
"On behalf of my people: The Nation of Obese Nerds of Comic Book Reatail, I welcome you to Springfield!"
"I have learned much of your people's struggle from the countless minor comic book characters of native origin." "This includes Captain Tomahawk, Mohawk Man, The Pow Wow Puncher and my personal favorite, Firewater Man." "It would be my honor if you were to join a brief 'Q & A' gathering inside my shop."
"May I see you license, registration and a certificate of insurance?"
"I have only just arrived in town. I'm afraid I don't have any of those things."
"In that case you should know you're contravening the Springfield Gaming and Gambling statute." "Specifically you're in violation of section 3, subsection 8 paragraph 391." "And yes, I did memorize that bit of the law just in case an unlicensed native casino arrived in town unexpectedly."
"Typical. I've only just arrived and already I'm being harassed by cops."
"Tell you what, I'll hold off on giving you a citation. But I will need to inspect the premise for any, errr... illegal activity."
"...as this graph indicates, during the last quarter our video lottery terminal profits soared like an eagle!"
"I’m sorry to interrupt your meeting!"
"Why, if it isn’t little Lisa Simpson….How unexpected that I should see you in the middle of a hastily scheduled quarterly investor call..."
"I just wanted to make sure you didn’t leave without considering everything the town has to offer to you and your tribe!"
"Leave? But Lisa, I would never leave a town that had a person like you in it."
"Really? Thank you. But why me?"
"Because unlike the rest of the dolts in this town, you have a future. You will grow up to do something great, and no doubt make a fortune. And then you will visit the casino and we will get a large chunk of that fortune from you."
"WOO HOO! The Chief is staying!"
*sigh* "Chief, I’m still having trouble liking you."
"So all this talk about lifting Springfield out of its cultural poverty wasn’t true?"
"I think you misunderstood Lisa. The fact that my business is doing so well is proof that our efforts here have been fruitful!"
"I’m not sure I’d call ‘Living it up at the Casino’ a real cultural exchange….When you think about it, casinos are actually a regressive tax on the disadvantaged. Money is extracted from the poorest and most vulnerable of the community with little contribution to the local tax base because all the profits go to the tribe."
"You can go now. Be sure to tell everyone in town: “For great good, terrific shows, and gaming action, be sure to visit Caesar’s Pow Wow Casino!”"