Rod and Todd Prelude
Build Sir Putt-A-Lot's
Rod and Todd Pt. 1
Make Rod Go Home Make Todd Go Home
Rod and Todd Pt. 2
Make Lisa Babysit Rod and Todd
Rod and Todd Pt. 3
Place a See-Saw Make Rod and Todd Play on the See-Saw
Rod and Todd Pt. 4
Make Rod Go for a Checkup Make Todd Go for a Checkup
Rod and Todd Pt. 5
Make Rod Go to School Make Todd Go to School
Rod and Todd Pt. 6
Make Rod Go to Sunday School Make Todd Go to Sunday School
Rod and Todd Pt. 7
Place Monkey Bars Make Rod Swing on the Monkey Bars
Rod and Todd Pt. 8
Make Rod Play Bible Blaster Make Todd Eat Sugar
Rod and Todd Pt. 9
Make Rod Pray
Rod and Todd Pt. 10
Make Todd Shop at the Kwik E Mart
"Bart, remember Sir Putt-A-Lot’s? You used to be crazy about miniature golf!"
"I’m not crazy about anything miniature. Golf, vans, pinschers -- I prefer all of them full-sized." "But I did love their LAX security. I once walked right past the guard with a shopping bag from “The Fireworks Barn”.
If the player got Sir Putt-A-Lot's during the Valentine's Day 2013 Event Rod and Todd are unlocked If the player did not participate in the Valentine's Day 2013 Event:
"Well, we should rebuild it anyway. It’ll keep you off the streets."
"I’m in. I wanna cherry bomb four toilets at once. Kind of a Vegas “Dancing Waters” thing."
"La, la, la, can’t hear you! Not an accessory!"
"Aw, Sir Putt-A-Lot’s! You know, Bart -- you were conceived on this minigolf course. Right there in that castle and/or windmill."
"I know. And I’m pretty sure your constantly telling me that story is why I’m the way I am."
"So you wanna play a round of mini-golf with your old man?"
"No, I came to vandalize the bathroom. Help me open this door, will ya?"
"Bart? Bart’s daddy?"
"Where are we?"
"Rod and Todd?! Quick, close the door again!"
"What are you two doing here?"
"We were in the bathroom washing our hands because we accidentally made an obscene gesture."
"From now on when we sing, “Where is pointer finger?” we’re not going to ask about any other fingers!"
"Before we could scrub the sin away, there was an explosion and we got trapped inside."
"I bet that was my toilet cherry bomb."
"Or when I blew up the whole town."
"The important thing is that they were gone for a long long time, and we were responsible."
"Oh, my boys! The Good Lord brought you back to me!"
"I saw mommy in a bright light. She told me to go back and that I’d see her again when it was my time."
"I saw a black, featureless abyss!"
"Well, don’t worry, boys. I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you again."
"Excuse me, Lisa? I have to pick up more child-proofing supplies. Could ya watch the boys while I’m out?"
"Sure, Mr. Flanders. Is there anything I should know?"
"Well, they’ve been lying on the couch for the last three hours…"
"So you want me to get them up and do something active?"
"NO! Nothing active! But, in another hour, could you roll ‘em on to their tummies so they don’t get couch-sores?"
"*SIGHS* Five bucks an hour is five bucks an hour.
"Ned, I’ve been talking to Lisa and I’m concerned about Rod and Todd."
"That’s mighty neighborino-ly of you, but don’t worry!" "My boys are home-schooled and home-churched -- they never leave the bubble-wrapped walls of my house."
"Don’t you think you’re being a little overprotective? Kids need to play in the fresh air and sunshine."
"I suppose I should let the boys go out for a little to enjoy our great, green earth. After all, God spent a whole week making it."
"Exactly, sort of. Boys, why don’t you go outside and play on something safe and fun like a see-saw."
"Yay! First I’ll be closer to God, then you’ll be closer to God…"
"Then I’ll be closer to God, then you’ll be closer to God…"
"Then I’ll be closer to--"
"WE GET IT!"
"Daddy! I got a splinter!"
"Oh no, where?"
"In my pant cuff"
"A breeze riffled my hair. Now, my part is crooked."
"I knew it was a mistake to let you boys go outside! I’ve got to get you to the doctor, ASAP!
"But you said doctors were godless heathens we should never listen to."
"No, that’s scientists."
"It’s a good thing you brought the boys in when you did, Ned. A few more days, and it would have been too late." *chuckles*
"What would have happened?"
"They would have been permanently and irreparably... turned into weirdoes." "You’re smothering these kids, Ned. They need to spend time with their peers.
"But other kids are so... different."
"No Ned, you’re kids are so different. They could use a dose of other-kid-ness, stat."
"Okay boys, this is it. -- your first day of public school."
"I’m scared of public school! They’re going to teach us that the Garden of Eden was the dinosaurs’ house before Adam and Eve lived there!"
"And that Christmas’s real name is Holidays."
"Now boys, just because someone teaches you something, doesn’t mean you have to learn it!" "When I took science classes as a kid, I’d just sing hymns in my head or write bible verses on the roof of my mouth with the tip of my tongue." "And I never absorbed any of that Evolution nonsense. I’m only kinda sure where babies come from."
"Boys, you’ve been going to school for a whole week. For that you get a special treat!" "Sunday School!"
"I hope we play Crucifictionary. I’m good at drawing “scrourging”!
"Hey Rod, do you wanna climb on the monkey bars?"
"Are they called that because the God of Evolution is monkeys?"
"No! It’s because it’s fun to climb on them, like a monkey."
"And if I do, you promise I won’t evolve?"
"I’m pretty sure that won’t happen."
"Yay! Static universe!"
"Hi Bart. What’s that in your hand?"
"Squishee, collosal size."
"It’s so green and glowy!"
"It’s their new flavor, alien berry. Wanna try it? It’ll blow your mind."
"That has sugar, Todd! It causes cavities."
"Pfft, that link has never been proven. Go ahead, Todd. See? Sugar doesn’t do anything. Now if I could just get my Squishee back…"
"No! It’s mine! MINE!"
"Todd? You sound like you’re possessed! I better brush up on demon banishing by playing Bible Blaster."
"The straw is too skinny. It’s not getting in my mouth fast enough!"
"Hey, maybe you should slow down…"
"Maybe you should shut up or I’ll punch your face off!"
"Hi Rod, what are you doing?"
"Praying for forgiveness. I’ve committed the sin of jealousy. Toward you."
"I’m jealous that you get to wear mommy clothes."
"Do you want to play “Try-on-each-other’s-shoes?”
"Um, you should probably just get back to your praying."
"Why is my straw making that horrible sound?"
"You’ve come to the bottom of the cup. You’re all out of Squishee."
"Oh. Can you take me to where I get more?"
"Sorry, I have to get going... Ow! Hey, you’re strong! *choking* My larynx!"
"Take me to the Squishee. Now!"
*gasping* "Yes, sir."
"Here you boys go -- two Super-Colossal Squishees."
"Thank you! I wish you believed in the real god so you could sell Squishees in heaven!"
"Young man, your casual dismissal of the sacred beliefs of myself and millions of others frightens and sickens me." "So take your Frequent Squishee-Drinkers punch card and…" "Come again!"