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Scandal-gate
Richard Nixon Sidebar

Event

4th July 2015 Event

Release Date

June 30, 2015

Number of Quests

5

Side Quests

Who Led Them Better
Narcissism 101

Scandal-gate is a premium limited time questline that was released on June 30, 2015, during the 4th July 2015 Event.

QuestsEdit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Scandal-gate Pt. 1 Make Richard Nixon Turn Himself In
If the player has the Police Station, the task will be done there, if not, it will be done at the Scandal-Gate Hotel.
4h Cash100, XP10 Richard Nixon
Scandal-gate Pt. 2 Make Richard Nixon Watch "The Dark Knight"
Make Lisa Watch "The Dark Knight"
6h
6h
Cash100, XP10 Richard Nixon
Scandal-gate Pt. 3 Make Richard Nixon Blow Everyone's Minds
Make Lisa Get her Mind Blown
60m
60m
Cash100, XP10 Richard Nixon
Scandal-gate Pt. 4 Make Lisa Sulk 45s Cash100, XP10 Lisa
Scandal-gate Pt. 5 Make Richard Nixon Wave to the People 12h Cash100, XP10 Richard Nixon

DialogueEdit

Scandal-gate Pt. 1Edit

StartEdit

Character Dialogue
Brockman Icon "This just in! Last night, a break-in occurred at the historic Scandal-gate Hotel."
Brockman Icon "The thieves raided the headquarters of the Springfield Botanical Society, making off with $9.78 in petty cash and some packets of seeds."
Brockman Icon "Several of the seed packets were for petunias. I don't know why that detail is considered relevant by the half-wits who wrote this copy for me to read off the teleprompter."
Richard Nixon Surprised Icon "A break-in at the Scandal-gate? It's happening again..."
Wiggum Icon "I'll get my best man on it. My best man is not very good, unfortunately. He's terrible. But he's a slightly better man than my other men, who are all shockingly bad men."

Jobs StartedEdit

Character Dialogue
Richard Nixon Icon "Look no further, copper! Nixon is your man. Nixon is behind this heinous crime."
Wiggum Icon "Isn't that impossible? You just beamed into town like five minutes ago."
Richard Nixon Icon "Nixon did it, and now he's orchestrating a vast cover-up to hide his involvement. This thing goes all the way to the top."
Lisa Icon "Mr. President, why are you trying to take the blame for something you obviously didn't do?"
Richard Nixon Icon "Nixon obviously did so do it. Nixon's behind this despicable political attack. Arrest Nixon."

EndEdit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Curious Icon "What political reason could there be for you to target a group of elderly gardening enthusiasts?"
Richard Nixon Icon "Follow the money."
Lisa Deadpan Icon "Nine dollars and seventy-eight cents? THAT money?"
Richard Nixon Icon "I know! Nixon must be a lunatic. But he definitely did it. Just like in 1972."

Scandal-gate Pt. 2Edit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "Mr. President, now that we're alone, please tell me why you're taking the fall for the break-in at the Scandal-gate?"
Richard Nixon Icon "I have to. Just like I had to in 1972. To protect the American people."
Lisa Angry Icon "But you WERE behind that break-in! Everybody knows that. There were YEARS of investigations, THOUSANDS of articles..."
Richard Nixon Annoyed Icon "All lies, planted by the jive turkeys who were really behind it. They were running scared. Because Nixon and his friends had cracked the case."
Richard Nixon Icon "Dick Nixon, you see, is a master detective. Nixon makes Sherlock Holmes look like a blithering idiot. And Nixon filled his White House with fellow super-sleuths."
Richard Nixon Icon "Ehrlichman, John Dean, Haldeman and Nixon called ourselves “The Mystery Solvers Club.” We had closed hundreds of cases the fuzz deemed “unsolvable.”"
Richard Nixon Icon "At night, we prowled the streets of D.C., magnifying glasses in hand, collecting clues."
Richard Nixon Icon "But when, in 1972, we realized the truth behind the break-in, we decided it was too big, too terrible to ever get out."
Richard Nixon Icon "The American people need to believe in their government. But they also need the bad guys to get caught. So we let ourselves BECOME the bad guys."
Richard Nixon Happy Icon "It's like in “The Dark Knight” when Batman lets himself be framed for the murder of Harvey Dent. Nixon is pretty sure that's based on Nixon, by the way."
Lisa Icon "I've never seen it."
Richard Nixon Annoyed Icon "Never seen “The Dark Knight?” How is that even possible? It's like my seventh-favorite movie EVER. Come on. We're watching it right now."

Scandal-gate Pt. 3Edit

Character Dialogue
Richard Nixon Happy Icon "NOW do you see, Lisa? NOW do you dig how Dick Nixon is maybe an even better Batman than Christian Bale?"
Lisa Icon "Not really. What WAS this horrible truth you were trying to keep from the American people?"
Richard Nixon Icon "In Washington, nothing is as it seems. What you think you know, you don't. And what you definitely don't know, you do."
Richard Nixon Icon "Tell me -- who are the LAST two people you would ever expect to be the masterminds of the break-in?"
Lisa Icon "Geez, I don't know... Probably Woodward and Bernstein?"
Richard Nixon Icon "BINGO."

Scandal-gate Pt. 4Edit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Angry Icon "Woodward and Bernstein were crusading, intrepid reporters who re-established the rule of law in Washington!"
Richard Nixon Icon "They were conservative operatives posing as reporters, at a hardline neo-Fascist think tank posing as The Washington Post."
Richard Nixon Icon "It says so on the masthead: “The Washington Post is a front for a hardline neo-Fascist think tank.” Why doesn't anyone ever read the masthead?"
Lisa Embarrassed Icon "Well, it's kind of small print. I assumed it wasn't that important..."
Richard Nixon Icon "Anyway, those reactionaries had to do SOMETHING to stop me. They knew about my second-term agenda."
Lisa Icon "Which was?"
Richard Nixon Icon "Please understand that Nixon's biography is a lie. Nixon grew up on an anarchist Marxist Buddhist hippie commune on the upper slopes of Mount Everest."
Lisa Deadpan Icon "Where the air is far too thin to breathe..."
Richard Nixon Annoyed Icon "Shut up."
Lisa Angry Icon "You're insane."
Richard Nixon Annoyed Icon "NIXON WAS LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD, AND NIXON SAYS SHUT UP."

Scandal-gate Pt. 5Edit

Character Dialogue
Richard Nixon Icon "Anyway, Nixon spent decades deep undercover as a Republican. All to set up my glorious second term. I called it: “The Love Agenda.”"
Richard Nixon Icon "We were gonna press the “reset” button on America. No more military, no more money. No more “rich” and “poor.”"
Richard Nixon Icon "No more “police.” No more “fire department” or “hospitals.” Just people, you know? Hanging out, digging on good music and positive vibes."
Lisa Nagging Icon "That's a great system. Very well thought out."
Richard Nixon Annoyed Icon "Then Woodward and Bernstein caught wind of it, and eighty-sixed the whole beautiful vision."
Richard Nixon Icon "But we'll get there. People are too damn groovy not to get there."
Lisa Icon "I really hope you're wrong about that."
Richard Nixon Icon "In fact, I'm gonna go soak up some love right now. Later, square."
Lisa Nagging Icon "So long, Another Intensely Disappointing Ex-President."

EndEdit

Unlock Washington and Lincoln to see what our greatest Presidents think of our least-great President!
 
— In-Game Message


TriviaEdit

GalleryEdit

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