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Thankless Thanksgiving

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Thankless Thanksgiving


Thanksgiving 2013 Event

Release Date

November 15, 2013

Number of Quests


Thankless Thanksgiving is the main quest from the Thanksgiving 2013 Event. This quest starts with the unlocking of Sacagawea Lisa. Completion of this quest unlocks the Turkey.


Quest Requirements Time
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 1 Make Sacagawea Lisa Sulk 60m
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 2 Make Homer Find a Nice Turkey on Cletus's Farm 2h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 3  Make Homer Organize a Search Party for Missing Turkeys 24h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 4 Make Moe, Ned, and Homer Hunt for Turkeys 12h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 5 Make Springfielders Attend a Wake for Thanksgiving (x10) 4h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 6 Make Sacagawea Lisa Care for Kidnapped Turkeys 24h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 7 Make Sacagawea Lisa Take a Trip to Cletus’s Farm 2h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 8 Make Cletus Whittle a Turkey Caller 12h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 9 Make Sacagawea Lisa Call Turkeys (x10)
Collect Turkeys (x10)
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 10 Make Sacagawea Lisa Go to her Room 60m
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 11 Make Sacagawea Lisa Mourn Thanksgiving Turkey Massacre 8h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 12 Make Lisa Enjoy a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving
Make Homer, Marge and Bart Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving


Thankless Thanksgiving PrologueEdit


Character Dialogue
Homericon "What's the weird paper stuff in the mailbox?"
Lisaicon "It's called "mail."
Homericon "You mean they invented a paper version of electronic mail? Science is amazing! Ooh! A big "mail"! Maybe it's full of more "paper"."
Lisaicon "It's a Sacagawea costume I ordered. I saved up all my Sacagawea dollars to pay for it."
Homericon "Honey, the dollar doesn't have Sacawhoever on it. It has George Washington, the inventor of money."
Lisaicon "I wanted to dress up as Sacagawea to celebrate the rich cultural history of Thanksgiving."
Homericon "A white girl dressing up like a native American? I don't know, that sounds a little racist to me."
Lisaicon "Just give me the costume."
Sacagawea Lisa has been placed in your inventory.
— In Game Message


Character Dialogue
Homericon "That costume looks great on you Lisa. You're the cutest racist I've ever seen!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Stop calling me that!"
Homericon "If I walked around pretending to be W.E.B. Dubois, whoever that is, you'd call ME racist."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "That's true...but...because...cultural...something...I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON THIS COSTUME!!"
Homericon "Wampum, sweetie. You spent all your wampum on this costume."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 1Edit

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Dad, I was thinking...maybe this year we could have a vegetarian Thanksgiving."
Homericon "So just because you feel guilty about walking around in a racist costume, I have to suffer?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "STOP CALLING ME RACIST!!!"
Homericon "How about "racish?" The "ish" means it's not fully racist, but still a little."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Talking to you I feel an even deeper connection with oppressed peoples everywhere."
Homericon "Great, maybe you can dress up as them next."
"In the meantime, don't change the only thing we know about Thanksgiving: THEY ATE TURKEY."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC *Sigh* "I'm the only animal rights activist in this whole town."
Homericon "Activish."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 2Edit


Character Dialogue
Homericon "Hey Apu! Turkey me!"
Apuicon "Oh but that I could turkey you, Mr. Homer."
Homericon "TURKEY ME!!!"
Apuicon "Unfortunatley none of my ususal brands of turkeys were delivered. Not the Butterbutts, not the Gobbler Deluxe, not even a single Drumstick King."
Apuicon "If you want a Thaksgiving turkey, your only hope is to go to a farm and buy one."
Homericon "You mean... ME turkey me?"
Start task
Homericon "Hey Cletus, hook me up with your fattest most juicy turkey!"
Cletusicon "Want me to kill it and pluck it for ya?"
Homericon "Why should you have all the fun? I've got a beheading axe in the car... barley used."
Cletusicon "Well, the turkey's out back. Don't forget to drain the blood."
Homericon "Please. Ending the life of turkeys by draining their blood is my life blood."
Cletusicon "You a silly feller all right I reckon."


Character Dialogue
Homericon "Hey ding-dong, there's no turkeys out there. Just meth labs and kids smoking meth. And a lot of meth just lying around."
Cletusicon "My gobblers has been taken?! Oh, this is terrible! I'm so sad, I'm gonna need me a whole lotta meth."
Homericon "No Cletus, this is one problem meth can't solve. Did anything strange happen that could explain the missing turkeys?"
Cletusicon "Couple a nights ago I was milkin' the cow, and smokin' meth, in the barn when I sees bright lights."
Homericon "ALIENS! They must have been kidnapped by aliens!"
Kangicon "Why would we eat the dry meat of turkets when we can gorge ourselves on the tender flesh of turkey-fattened humans?"
Kodosicon "Turkey-fattened humans are our foie gras!"
Homericon "What about regular foie gras?"
Kangicon "We would never eat that! It's cruel!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 3Edit


Character Dialogue
Homericon "Something terrible has happened! I don't have blood on my hands!"
Margeicon "That sounds like a good thing. Please let it be a good thing."
Homericon "No, the blood on my hands that I crave is turkey blood. But all of the live turkeys are missing!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "What about a vegetarian turkey? A tofurkey? Or a seitan-urkey? Or a spelt-urkey?"
Homericon "How about a barf-urkey with extra barf sauce and a side of barf stuffing, barf potatoes and barfberry jelly with barf pie a la barf for dessert?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Vegan food doesn't taste like barf. Except quinoa."
Homericon "Don't worry. I'll get back our turkeys, with an old-fashioned turkey hunt."
"Now where do we keep our dynamite?"





Moeicon "Hey Homer…"
Homericon "Flanders?"
Nedicon "Yes?"
Homericon "I hate you"
Nedicon "You keep telling me that."
Homericon "Also, I need your help."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 4Edit


Character Dialogue
Homericon "Gentlemen. We are about to embark on the most important mission of our lives."
Nedicon "Oh dear! Did a child go missing? Did an elderly person with dementia wander off?"
Moeicon "Did some kinda monkey with a deadly virus escape from a secret lab and we gotta capture it alive to create an antidote before it turns us into Planet of the Apes?"
Homericon "Worse. And different. All the turkeys in Springfield have gone missing. It’s up to us to hunt them down, otherwise this year’s Thanksgiving will be….Vegetarian!"


Character Dialogue
Homericon "We can’t find the turkeys anywhere!"
Nedicon "God will be so sad that we aren’t eating his blessed creatures on a day celebrating the stealing of a land from his other blessed creatures."
Moeicon "On the bright side, I did find a diseased monkey that might or might not have turned us into a Planet of the Apes. I hired it to work the bar."
Homericon "I think it’s time to face facts. This Thanksgiving, we won’t be eating anything with a face."
Moeicon (GASP)
Nedicon (GASP)

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 5Edit

Character Dialogue
Nedicon "It just doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving without turkey."
Homericon "Deliciously decapitated turkey."
Moeicon "With sauces made from its death drippings."
Homericon "Let’s face it. Without a dead turkey, it’s Thanksgiving itself that’s dead."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 6Edit

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Everyone seems to think Thanksgiving is all about gluttony and ceaseless consumption."
"A sparse, frugal and healthy meal of steamed Swiss Chard and assorted other international chards should cure them of their obsession with meat."
"Without dead flesh in their stomachs, Springfielders will experience a heightened sense of peace and well-being."
"And so will I…as I hang out with the living turkeys I’ve hidden in the brown house!"
*sneaky chuckle*

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 7Edit


Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Oh no! The turkeys are gone! They must have escaped while I was feeling self-satisfied!"
TurkeyIcon *Gobble gobble*
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Except this little gobbler, who fell asleep listening to one of my many tiresome speeches to myself. Don’t worry little turkey! I’ll find your friends and save them from becoming part of this carnivorous festival of death!"
Turkeyasleepicon Zzzzz…
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Oh…, my self-involved monologue must have put him to sleep. Maybe I can get some help from someone who actually knows about animals, instead of just talking about them all the time."


Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Cletus, chould you share your country wisdom so that I might find escaped turkeys?"
Cletusicon "Don't you patronize me."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "What?"
Cletusicon "I knows when a city feller is talking down to me. I’m country, not stupid."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "You’re right…I’m sorry. You’re not stupid."
Cletusicon "I'm just joshin' ya. I is stupid! Powerful stupid!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 8Edit

Character Dialogue
Cletusicon "To catch a Turkey, you'd need a Turkey caller."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Do you have a turkey caller I can...borrow?"
Cletusicon "Borrow? That’s communist talk! I’ll trade you one for some of those foot-bags you got."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "You mean shoes?"
Cletusicon "No! Your foot bags!!!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 9Edit


Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "What a funny looking contraption. UGH! And the sound is so incredibly annoying!"
Barticon "Funny looking and annoying? Is it a Lisa?"
*more laughs*
*even more laughs*
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC *annoyed grumbling*


Character Dialogue
Homericon "What the heck is all that gobbling?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Gobbling? It’s…uh…goblins! Yea, goblins! Happy Halloween! Trick or Treat! Boooo!"
Homericon "Halloween goblins? Happy Halloween everyone! Wait, this isn’t the Halloween update! It’s the Thanksgiving update."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Uhhh..."
Cletusicon "I thought I heard some Halloween goblins, but it turns out it's..."
"... MY TURKEYS!!!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 10Edit


Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "Umm…dad…you know how the turkeys have been missing for a while now? I kidnapped them. And then I locked them up in the Brown House. And then they escaped."
Homericon "HALLELUJAH! Thanksgiving IS saved! And also, GO TO YOUR ROOM!"


Character Dialogue
Homericon "You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. Trying to rob Springfield of its God-given right to turkey dinner!"
Lisaicon "All I wanted to do was save a few innocent lives."
Sacagawea Homer Icon - SC "As further punishment, I will wear your Sacagawea costume in a scarcastic fashion."
Lisaicon "This is the worst Thanksgiving ever!"
Sacagawea Homer Icon - SC "No, it's the worst Thanksgiving yet."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 11Edit


Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Homer Icon - SC "WOO HOO! Thanksgiving is back on!"
Lisaicon "You mean Turkey-geddon is back on?"
Homericon "Oh Lisa. Don't be such a Thanksgiving-pooper. At least I gave you your costume back."
Lisaicon "It's stretched out like a circus tent and smells like pork chops. So yeah, Dad, thanks."

After Sent on QuestEdit

Character Dialogue
Homericon "Ohhh, I hate seeing my children doing a guilt-trip job."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 12Edit


Character Dialogue
Margeicon "Homie... Our poor little Lisa... I haven't seen her this sad in ages."
Homericon *grumble* "Oh fine! We can have a turkey-free Thanksgiving this year."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "REALLY?!"
Margeicon "REALLY?!"
Barticon "REALLY?!"
TurkeyIcon *Gobble Gobble*?!
Homericon "Yes. Really. If..."
"... I can eat a whole cow for Christmas!"
CowIcon *Mooo*?!?!?!?!?!


Character Dialogue
Cletusicon "I wants you to keep this turkey as a re-ward."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "You know who really deserves this turkey?"
Cletusicon "The real life player who wasted his hard-earned money buying imaginary pictures from a 25-year old TV show?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon - SC "No... Me. You were right the first time."

Reoccurring I Choo-Choo-Choose You · Quicky at the Kwik-E · The Taxman Commeth · It's Either This or a Bath · Hey Look, It Floats! · It's Not Easy Being Green
Tutorial Square One · Springfield Cleaners · The New Evergreen Terrace · Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart · The Others · The Box, the Box! · Soylent Bean · Thank Ganesh · Working Hard · The Mysterious Brown House · Green Thumb · Donut-denominated Decorations · Property Values · · Professor Frink (quest chain) · Duffman (quest chain) · Kearney (quest chain) · Hans Moleman (quest chain) · Something for the Resume
Level 5 myPad · That Ain't Right · Getting Benched · Hardly Working · Pave Paradise · Slack-Jawed Yokel · Flaw and Order
Level 7 Made with U.S.D.A Letter-Graded Beef
Level 8 Thrillhouse
Level 9 We Do Need Yes Education
Level 10 Schoolhouse Crock · Krusty Burger Heavy User
Level 11 It's Pronounced Nu-cular
Level 12 Bart Crusoe · Springfield Library Quests
Level 13 The Dungeon Keeper
Level 14 The Passion of the Flanders · They Have Internet on Computers Now?
Level 15 Is There an Al Coholic Here · Free Band-Aids With Every Cut
Level 16 Double Down on She's A Loser · Truffle Surprise
Level 17 We Don't Sell myPods · Miranda Rights
Level 18 As American As Apple Pie · Luigi's Quests
Level 19 Springfield Penitentiary Quests · Retirement Castle Quests · · The Cranky Man Can · Calamity Case
Level 20 Town Hall Quests · · Krustylu Studios (quest chain) · The Family Business
Level 21 Muntz Quests · · Look What the Cat Dragged In
Level 22 Krabappel Quests · · Otto (quest chain)
Level 23 Channel 6 Quests · · Bumblebee Man (quest chain)
Level 24 Hibbert Family Practice Quests · Hospital Quests · · Dr. Nick (quest chain)
Level 25 Executive Lackey · Rolling in It \ Ain't No Mountain High Enough · Mr. Moneybags
Level 26 This Little Wiggy
Level 27 Buddha's Got Back · Lenny and Carl Quests · · Princess Pride
Level 28 The Cleaner · Businessman's Social Club Quests · · The Texan With No Shame
Level 29 There Are Winners And Skinners · Couch Surfin' U.S.A
Level 30 Military Antiques · · Jasper (quest chain)
Level 31 Celeb-o-mania · · McBain (quest chain) · The Girl Who Cried Wolfcastle · The Girl Who Gets A Dragon Tattoo
Level 32 Rod And Todd · Bread And Putter · · Kamp Bart (quest chain)
Level 33 Bad Cops · · Arnie Pye in the Sky
Level 34 SKINNERRR? · Night at the Knowledgeum · High School Low · · The Trouble With Twins
Level 35 For the Love of Marge · Career Aspirations · Up In Smoke · · Much Ado About Jub Jub · Saturday Night Fever
Level 36 Running with the Bullies · · Rebel Without A Pause
Level 37 Bachelor Arms · Weekend Dad · · Money vs. Milhouse · The Investorettes · Hardly Kirk-Ing
Level 38 Scandalous Spending · Two Extra Eyes On Springfield · Snyder House Rules · · The Devil Wears Blue
Level 39 A Perfectly Cromulent Job · · A Love Embiggened
Level 40 Chocolate Pain · · Tipsy-Turvy
Level 41 Vulgari Aspirations · · Hibbert's Got Shed
Level 42 Islands in the Revenue Stream · Krusty the Hair Colorist · · Bindle There, Done That · Hobo You Didn't!
Level 43 The Princess and the Pea-Brain · Twins Just Want to Have Fun
Level 44 Database Recovery · Bonsai Vivant · Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update · 99 Luft-Word-Balloons · Bloatation Device · · Yellow Blues · Fuguaboutit · Demographic Rude-ity · A Deep Bonsai of Relief · Sensei You, Sensei Me · I Think I'm Turning Japanese (Because I Am Japanese)
Level 45 The Way I Wish We Was · Burning the Midnight Oil · · You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter · The Magic Schoolbus
Level 46 Easy A · Dr. Feelgood · One Small Bounce For Man...
Level 47 The Cost of Living · Testify! · Siren Song
Level 48 Smells Like Mean Spirit · Double Trouble · · Country on the Inside
Level 49 Baking Bread · Low Costa Nostra
Level 50 The Joy of Gossip · The Real Investorettes · · Back from the Future
Level 51 The Ungrateful Dead · Lowering the Bar · Physician, Heal Thyself · · The Tell-Tale Plant Worker · A Sign of the Grimes
Level 52 Dora the Endorser · Sushi Ralph · · Kruption
Level 53 Higher Class of Politics · Relationship of Inconvenience · · Insert Credit Card
Level 54 A Woman's Work · To Catch a Cougar · · Rock, Paper, Sister
Level 55 The Price of Donuts · Filming Springfield · · Herb Stomp · Herbitation · Nostalgia and Kitsch
Level 56 A Drop in the Bucket · Fear and Loathing in Springfield · Convention Retention · · Safety Dance
Level 57 Old Gray Marriage · Grumpy Grumpy Grampos · Shotgun Wedding · · All the Belles and Whistles · · · Rosh Hashanah
Level 58 Frankie the Politician · The Comic's Town Affair · · Casinofellas
Level 59 Girl Next Cell Over · A Krusty Reunion · · The Usual Suspect · The Heist That Started It All
God Bless Native America · Happy Thanksgiving · Thankless Thanksgiving

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