Thanksgiving Season 2014
Make Puritan Flanders Educate Homer
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 1
Make Puritan Flanders Perform an Exorcism Make Sacagawea Lisa Get Exorcised
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 2
Make Puritan Flanders Self-Punish
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 3
Make Puritan Flanders Read Revelation Passages Make Rod & Todd Listen to Stories Make Sacagawea Lisa Shop for Thanksgiving Food
60m 60m 4h
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 4
Make Puritan Flanders Self-Punish
"Thanksgiving!" "The high holiday of gorging!" "Uncluttered with Yule logs, Easter egg hunts, flag saluting or the yoinking out of groundhogs."
"It's also a time for solemn prayer and giving thanks to Our--"
"Stuff it, Flanders!" "Like every holiday, the turkey season combines my three favorite things --" "Eating, quests and prizes."
"But do you have any idea what day comes AFTER Thanksgiving?"
"I was talking about Black Friday."
"Martin Luther King Day?"
"You really are clueless. Looks like I'm going to have to educate you in the manner of Miles Flandish."
"One-two, buckle my shoes! Three four Pilgrim-ize some more!"
"Dad, you need to learn the real history of Thanksgiving."
"Sorry but the Puritan has spoken." "Unless you've got an equal or better costume, this conversation is over."
"Allow me to introduce..."
"Don't listen to her, Homer! She's covered in the devil's totems and pagan squiggles on buckskin!"
"I realize Sacagawea wasn't part of Thanksgiving, but I had this costume leftover from Halloween." "I was going to wear it then..." "But I switched to Elsa from “Frozen” instead, along with every other 8 year-old in the world."
"All I see is a little girl possessed by a Sacagawean demon!"
"Lisa was just playing dress-up, Ned. Creativity should be exercised, not exorcized."
"Reverend, child's play and devil's play travel the same trails."
"What trail are you on with those Pilgrim togs and half-cocked blunderbuss?"
"Hahahaha, half-cocked blunderbuss!"
"Tee-hee." "Oh, no! Those words are just north of being blasphemous! And I lightly chuckled at them!"
"Homer, I want to apologize for how I judged your daughter, Sacaga-Lisa." "I've taken the liberty of giving myself a double dose of self-weltin' flagellation." "It whipped my warped noodle straight."
"Mmmm… warped noodles."
"Lisa, I want to apologize for pushing my views onto you. I hope there's hard feelings, because I know I deserve them." "Deserve them badly..."
"No-no-no, put the whip down! We're OK, you and I!" "Let's put everything behind us by going out and buying a feast-full of Thanksgiving food."
"But Daddy, what about our bedtime story?"
"Is it 4PM already?" "No worries. Lisa, here's my credit card. Go Catholic crazy!" "Better make that Baptist crazy -- I'm close to my limit on that card. "
"Blazin' butterballs! This credit card bill pops my turkey timer! What is all this?!"
"It's an all-vegetarian meal!" "A Thanksgiving dinner where nothing has to feel pain in order for us to feel full."
"Actually, fruits and vegetables feel tremendous pain." "The human ear just can't hear their horrific screams."
"I never knew..." "I guess I could switch from vegetables to just eating dirt."
"Nghhey-hey! It's a Frink fib!" "Crunch carrots and munch mangos all you want! They don't feel a thing."
"That faux fowl stuffing smells good enough to make a Puritan's head bow!"
"And the pièce de résistance – a centerpiece that the whole town can enjoy!"
"That's a premium decoration! You spent my donuts without asking?"
"Are you angry?"
"Well, it did make my turkey skin a little crispy." *Sigh* "Anger's a sin, ain't it?"