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The Simpson Genome Project
Hollis Hurlbut Sidebar

Content Update

Time Traveling Toaster 2017 Event

Level Required

5

Release Date

May 30, 2017

Number of Quests

4

The Simpson Genome Project is a premium questline released on May 30, 2017, during the Time Traveling Toaster 2017 Event. It requires the premium character Hollis Hurlbut

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 1 Make Lisa Get a Genetic Test
Make Hollis Hurlbut Send Tests Away for Study
4h
4h
Cash100
XP10
Hollis Hurlbut
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 2 Make Hollis Hurlbut Alter the Facts 4h Cash100
XP10
Hollis Hurlbut
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 3 Make Lisa Get Further Testing
Make Homer Go in for Testing
4h
4h
Cash100
XP10
Hollis Hurlbut
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 4 Make Lisa Study Neanderthal History
Make Homer Skip Work
4h
4h
Cash200
XP20
Hollis Hurlbut

Dialogue Edit

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 1 Edit

Character Dialogue
Hollis Hurlbut Icon DNA analysis has opened the floodgates of historical inquiry.
Hollis Hurlbut Happy Icon Anyone interested in a free DNA swab? Learn your family's genetic roots?
Lisa Surprised Icon Of course! I'd LOVE to know what great peoples of the past I'm related to.
Homer Guilty Icon Lisa, I'm not sure the genetic soup that made me and Bart is a tasty one...

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 2 Edit

Character Dialogue
Hollis Hurlbut Happy Icon The results are in! The Simpson gene is overwhelmingly Neanderthal!
Lisa Curious Icon Well, I did hear every person of Eurasian descent has a TINY amount of Neanderthal in them...
Hollis Hurlbut Icon It would be more precise to say the Simpsons have a tiny amount of human in them.
Lisa Worried Icon I don't suppose you'd be willing to change that result? For my peace of mind?
Hollis Hurlbut Happy Icon Lisa, I'm a historian. Twisting the evidence in whatever way is most convenient is what I do. Consider it done!

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Hollis Hurlbut Icon It's amazing that primitive cavemen could survive into modern times. You should be so proud, Cave Lisa.
Lisa Shocked Icon I'm a straight-A student! I'm not a caveman!
Hollis Hurlbut Icon Well, I'll run a few more tests. But Neanderthals DID have larger craniums. It all fits, you see.
Lisa Shouting Icon NOTHING FITS! RUN MORE TESTS!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Hollis Hurlbut Icon Homer, Lisa, you both have the largest heads I've ever recorded.
Homer Proud Icon That's why I'm so smart. Smart as an ape, they all say!
Hollis Hurlbut Happy Icon Such fascinating primate behavior. What a discovery!
Lisa Shouting Icon I'M NOT A DISCOVERY AND NEITHER IS MY DAD!

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Hollis Hurlbut Icon Lisa, as a peace offering, I brought you a present.
Hollis Hurlbut Happy Icon Here. A shank of wild boar. I know how your people love big meat shanks.
Lisa Nagging Icon Save it. If I'm a Neanderthal, then I am going to celebrate my history.
Lisa Happy Icon Besides, do you have any idea how interesting this will look on a college application? Yale, here I come!
Homer Happy Icon And I get to go on disability!

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