"I love that in New Springfield, we're premium characters."
"Check out these lame, non-premium characters."
"How I pity their easy affordability. Could they cost fewer donuts? The answer is no, because they cost zero donuts."
"To cost less, they'd have to cost negative donuts, which there's no such thing as."
"You can't bake a negative donut. And even if you could never glaze it. Because glaze is positive. Poor, poor boys."
"Let's moch them some more, shall we? But using our secret, unbreakable code language so they won't understand what we say."
"Switching to secret code language.... now. B-come bin b-Terri. B-do b-you b-read b-me, b-Terri?"
"B-loud band b-clear, b-secret b-code blangaguge b-buddy!"
"Bi- b-wonder bif b-Milhouse's b-cooties b-have b-blue b-eyebrows b-too?"
"I can tell you're talking about me. But why are you using that secret, unbreakable code language?"
"B-Milhouse b-thinks b-we're b-talking babout b-him. B-That's b-so b-sad."
"B-even b-though b-he's b-correct, bit's b-sad b-he'd b-think b-so."
"It's no fair to exclude other people. All the TV cartoons agree. So I'm going to put a stop to this!"
"Principal Skinner, the twins are using a secret language that the rest of us can't understand."
"Son, I realize schoolyard politics can be difficult. But dealing with difficult social situations is how we grow." "If I step in now, I'm doing you a disservice."
"I see. Maybe I'll just a register a complaint with Superintendent Chalmers."
"A complaint?! Attention, children! Effective immediately, all secret languages are banned on school property!" "Any kindergarteners babbling incoherently will be assumed to be speaking a secret language, and will be expelled."
"You ratted on us, Milhouse. And now you will recevie the worst punishment we can dish out."
"The super-creeepy, super-intense Sherri/Terri double stare of death."
"No, please! Anything but that It's off-putting! Off-puttiinnnnnggggg..."
"Lisa, save me from Terri and Sherri! Their eyes are swirling pools of liquid hate." "The kind of hate only found in Magnetos, Emperors Palpatine and little girls!"
"I won't help you! You got our secret language banned!"
"Wait a second -- you speak it too? But I thought it was a twin language between Sherri and Terri."
"No, it's a secret language all the girls at this school speak. We'll explain why in a few quests." "But right now, you're to come with me. They want an explanation..."
"No! I can't! I don't know how to talk to girls yet!"
"Help, I'm being pursued by women! It's every guy's nightmare!"
"Milhouse, follow me. I don't know what you did, but you pissed off boykind's natural enemy, the girl, and we're eternally grateful."
"We hereby grant you asylum in the only place no female can ever reach you -- the boys' bathroom."
"Attention, boys! The girls demand immediate extradition of Milhouse Van Houten."
"His actions have compromised the safety of everyone at this school, and he must answer for his crimes."
"Not a chance. Boy Power!"
"Then you leave us no choice. Time to pull out our ultimate weapon. Just try to resist this!"
"We demand you hand over Milhouse at once! He is a known tattletale and a convicted Knockout cheat.
"And by harboring him, you seriously jeopardize historically fragile boy-girl relations."
"Uh, listen. I don't think he'll leave the bathroom. He seems to really love it."
"Bathroom life is sweet! There's so much to do! Sink showering, mirror staring, smell smelling..."
"Ew, I could never spend my nights sleeping on the couch in the girls' bathroom."
"You have a couch in there? I knew it! I knew the girls' bathroom was nicer than ours!"
"What's so important about protecting your secret girl language anyway? I can't imagine even girls care about the dumb things girls say."
"For your FYI, we use our secret language to protect you."
"Oh my OMG, what kind of an idiot do you think I am? You seriously expect me to believe that you talk in code to protect boys?"
"In the truth. You see-- wait, was that the recess bell I just heard? Can we pick this up later?"
"Of course. We may hate each other, and that's a wonderful thing, but nothing is more important than recess."
"And we're back. Good game, by the way."
"GG, Bart! Now, I was explaining how our secret language protects you. It's very simple -- you aren't prepared to hear what girls say about you."
"You see, we girls grow up faster than you. We understand fashion, social cues, music, trends, etc., at a level far, far superior to your own."
"We could verbally rip you to shreds any time we please. But that would destroy you."
"And then come middle school, we would have no one date."
"So you see, our having a secret language is really the best thing for everybody."
"That's crazy! Why would I ever care what a girl thinks about me?"
"Then you leave us no choice. I'm sorry, Bart. I'd hoped we could avoid this."
"Wait a second! Where do you girls get off calling my look "so 1989." "I wasn't even born then! And I certainly wasn't a ten year old boy in 1989. I would have aged by now!"
"Bart, the girls say my vest doesn't flatter my shape. Tell me that's not true! It'd ruin me!"
"What's wrong, Bart? Can't handle a little constructive criticism?"
"When you said you'd bag on the boys, I never dreamt you meant me. Everyone knows my moves are the freshest and my threads are the dopest!"
"This can end anytime you want. Just give us Milhouse."
"Bart, the girls can tell I have a crush on the art teacher. How is this possible?!"
"They're calling me "uncouth!" Make it stop!"
"Don't listen to them, men! Don't let the girls win!"
"Augh! I don't want to understand another awful word from you terrible, horrible creatures." "Ladies, take Milhouse. He's yours. Just bring back your secret language!"
"No, you have to protect me. I'm a whistleblower! I was performing a public service! Don't let the twins have me!"
"You belong to us now, Milhouse."
"Come here. Come here and accept your punishment."