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We Didn't Start The Fire
Crook and Ladder Sidebar

Event

Crook and Ladder 2016 Event

Level Required

Level 15

Release Date

March 31, 2016

Number of Quests

11

Side Quests

After School Project
Burn It All Down
Hot in Here
Woman on Fire

We Didn't Start The Fire is a limited-time main quest line released on March 16, 2016 for the Crook and Ladder 2016 Event.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 1 Make Flanders Move into the Brown House
Make Springfielders Throw E.L. James Books on the Fire (x4)
6s
6s
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 2 Make Men Volunteer for the Fire Department (x4) 6s Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 3 Make Firemen Fight the Kwik-E-Mart Fire
Collect Gold Medals (x300)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 4 Make Quimby Award a Medal
Collect Gold Medals (x600)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 5 Make Firemen Fight the Police Station Fire
Collect Gold Medals (x800)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 6 Make Firemen Fight the Elementary School Fire
Collect Gold Medals (x700)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 7 Make Wiggum Declare the School Fire a “Cold Case”
Collect Gold Medals (x700)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 8 Make Homer Demonstrate the Proper Way to Put Down...You Know*
Collect Gold Medals (x600)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 9 Make Moe Rescue Cats from Trees
Collect Gold Medals (x1000)
3h
-
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 10 Reach Level 26 and Build the Wiggum House
Hire Ralph as a 911 Operator
-
2h
Cash100
XP10
Auto
We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 11 Make Firemen Fight the Station Fire [x2]
24h Cash100
XP10
Auto

*If the player has unlocked Fireman Homer, it defaults to him and premium payment is given to the job.

Dialogue Edit

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 1 Edit

Character Dialogue
Ned Shocked Icon Chief, help! I was having a Christian book burning, and the works of E.L. James got out of control! People just keep adding more and more of them!
Wiggum Icon Our next available appointment is Friday. Would you prefer 8 to 12 or 1 to 5?
Ned Surprised Icon Friday?! But the fire could spread to my house -- I need it out now!
Wiggum Icon Sorry, but we're backed up with fires. It hasn't rained once since this town was rebuilt, and everything's dried out.
Ned Worried Icon Then what do I do?
Wiggum Icon What anyone around here does when they need somewhere to go.

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Ned Sad Icon Homer, this is ridiculous. We need a fire department.
Homer Annoyed Icon And who would I staff it with?
Ned Icon New characters?
Homer Sarcastic Icon Ha! They've already introduced everyone. Even characters who only appeared in deleted scenes.
Apu Icon Why don't we volunteer as firefighters?
Homer Confused Icon And why would we want to do work for no money?
Apu Happy Icon Because if there's a terrorist attack that kills some of us, the ones who survive will get to comfort the widows.
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon I'm in!
Kirk Happy Icon Me too!
Moe Icon Me three!
Skinner Happy Icon Me four!
Wiggum Icon Can I do this and still get paid as a cop?

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Homer Icon Looks like we have our new Firemen!
Fire Chief Moe Icon Alright, time to get us some hot widows!
Fireman Skinner Happy Icon I'm just excited to get a few minutes away from mother.
Fireman Apu Happy Icon And a few minutes away from Manjula, the store and all eight of my children. Why eight?!
Get Apu and Homer new Fireman Skins! Unless you want them in Third Degree Burn Skins later on.
 
— System Message.


We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Apu Surprised Icon The Kwik-E-Mart is on fire!
Fire Chief Moe Surprised Icon Sorry, I was trying to dry my socks in the hot dog roller.
Fireman Apu Sad Icon I tried dousing it with Squishee, but it only fed the flames! The stuff's ninety percent propane.
Fireman Homer Icon Ooh, our first fire! I'm gonna take a selfie of me fighting it for Springface!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Apu Icon The fire's out! My soul-crushing place of employment has been saved!
Fireman Homer Sad Icon Ah, but my picture didn't come out. The fire's all blurry. Let's start it again!
Fires are popping out all around town. Tap on them for Medals!
 
— System Message.


We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 4 Edit

Character Dialogue
Quimby Icon Well done, men. In honor of you saving one of Springfield's oldest structures, I hereby present you with this medal.
Fireman Homer Annoyed Icon This medal says “Pinewood Derby 2003.”
Quimby Smug Icon Wahhh. Some “heroes” you are.

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Krusty Surprised Icon Help! Krustyland is on fire!
Fire Chief Moe Icon I wonder who started that one. Hehe.
Fireman Homer Annoyed Icon We don't save places that take your money but offer only subpar services from people in stupid looking uniforms.
Wiggum Surprised Icon Help! The police station's on fire!
Fireman Homer Surprised Icon Omigod, let's go!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Apu Annoyed Icon Chief, the fire was caused by the microwave in the break room exploding.
Wiggum Icon Yeah, so?
Fireman Apu Annoyed Icon A microwave wouldn't explode unless it was used at least 100,000 times.
Wiggum Icon Yeah, so?
Fireman Apu Surprised Icon But there's only five of you who work there.
Wiggum Serious Icon Yeah, so?
Fireman Apu Annoyed Icon And you've only been working there for four years.
Wiggum Serious Icon Yeah, so?
Fireman Apu Annoyed Icon So that means each of you are taking 10,000 breaks a day in the break room.
Wiggum Exhausted Icon Yeah, so?

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 6 Edit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Curious Icon I don’t get it. There are no hydrants in this town. What are you fighting fires with?
Fireman Homer Icon With fire. That's a thing, right?
Bart Rollingeyes Icon Come on, Lisa. No four-year-old freemium game is gonna hire animators just to design hydrants.
Bart Rollingeyes Icon They haven't even hired someone to figure out how to make us walk in more than two directions.
Lisa Deadpan Icon I know. Last night it took me fifteen minutes to get from the living room to the kitchen.

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 7 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Serious Icon We've determined that the fire at the elementary school was set intentionally. So fess up, who started it?
Fireman Skinner Annoyed Icon I did. It was the only way to get the asbestos out of school.
Bart Sneaky Icon I did. I had a book report due tomorrow.
Miss Hoover Icon I did. I had book reports to grade tomorrow.
Willie Angry Icon I did. I wanted to die a Viking's death.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Skinner Icon There you go again, awarding everyone medals just for participation.
Miss Hoover Sad Icon It's bad enough they make us do it in school. But sadly, I guess now it's everywhere.
Fireman Skinner Icon Thank you, EA, for contributing to the wussification of our culture.

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 8 Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Homer Icon We know that a lot of you are playing games while smoking, um, you know...
Otto Icon Only way to play it!
Fire Chief Moe Icon Well, we just want you to be careful when you put down the, you know, in order to tap.
Dr. Nick Icon Put it DOWN? I just tap with it!
Fireman Skinner Icon Okay. But for the rest of you, be sure to find a safe place to put down the... you know.
Fireman Skinner Icon Because one of the leading causes of house fires is, um, you know.
Otto Icon And if you haven’t played Tap Ball while ‘relaxed’, you haven’t lived!

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 9 Edit

Character Dialogue
Selma Icon I bet you firefighters are all really good at cooking chili.
Fire Chief Moe Icon Nah, that's just a stereotype you always see on TV.
Selma Icon How about that story that firefighters can always get free groceries?
Fire Chief Moe Icon Nope. Stereotype.
Fireman Homer Sad Icon Really? Oops. For the past week I've just been taking my groceries without paying for them.
Selma Icon So I guess I shouldn't bother asking about rescuing cats from trees.
Fire Chief Moe Happy Icon Ha! Please. Never happens in real life. Only in fictional portrayals!

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 10 Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Apu Happy Icon Hooray! Now we have a place to avoid our wives when we're not avoiding them by actually fighting fires.
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon Wait... is the Fire Station now on fire?
Fireman Apu Surprised Icon How could this happen?
Fireman Skinner Sad Icon I was boiling some water to make ramen, since that's the only thing firemen know how to cook in real life. But then I got distracted answering all the calls from people reporting fires!
Fire Chief Moe Icon We need to hire a 911 Operator.
Fireman Homer Annoyed Icon We need a lot of things. But first The Simpsons needs to make some episodes with new characters.
Wiggum Eyeswide Icon Hey, I got someone for the job... and he already exists!
Fireman Homer Icon Who's that?
Ralph Icon My foot's name is Jeremy!

We Didn't Start The Fire Pt. 11 Edit

Character Dialogue
Fireman Skinner Icon Okay Ralph, just pick up this phone and say "Nine one one, what's your emergency?"
Phone Icon *ring* *ring*
Ralph Phone strangled Icon Eight two banana, I got an owie on my breathing.
Fireman Skinner Annoyed Icon Close enough.
Fireman Homer Icon Now that we've got that figured out, there'll be nothing to distract us from putting out fires.
Fireman Apu Icon Let's go back to the firehouse and celebrate.
Fireman Homer Surprised Icon Oh crap, the firehouse!

Trivia Edit

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