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What's the Matter?
Stephen Hawking Sidebar

Content Update

SciFi 2016 Event

Level Required

5

Release Date

August 16, 2016

Number of Quests

5

Preceded by

Dark Matters

Succeeded by

Smack to the Future (Act 2)

What's the Matter? is a limited-time main questline released on August 16, 2016, for the SciFi 2016 Event.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
What's the Matter? Pt. 1 Make Alternate Homers Gather Exotic Matter (x5) 4h Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 2 Make Ned Pray to the Sky Finger
Make Stephen Hawking Roll His Eyes
8h
8h
Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 3 Make Stephen Hawking DJ Some Tunes 60m Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 4 Make Stephen Hawking Ponder the Nature of the Sky Finger
Make Ned Enjoy the Calming Numbness of Faith
8h
8h
Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 5 Make Stephen Hawking Wonder if He's a Simulation
Make Homer Relax in the Brown House
Make Alternate Homers Absorb Knife Thrusts (x4)
Make Evil Homer Scheme
4h
2h
4h
4h
Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 6 Force Hawking Drive His Wheel Chair Up and Down Stairs 8h Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 7 Make Stephen Hawking Fight for His Rights 8h Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 8 Make Stephen Hawking Rocket Around Town 8h Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking
What's the Matter? Pt. 9 Make Stephen Hawking Think Without Getting Tapped by the Sky Finger
Make Evil Homer Scheme
8h
4h
Cash100
XP10
Stephen Hawking

Dialogue Edit

What's the Matter? Pt. 1 Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Curious Icon To understand the nature of the wormhole, we'll need to gather matter samples from a number of other universes.
Homer Proud Icon Team Homer is on the job! And as coach of the team, I'll be in the coach's hammock.
Stephen Hawking Icon Very well. You other Homers, travel through the wormhole and liberate a few items of exotic matter.
Evil Homer Devious Icon Liberate? That's one of my favorite synonyms for larceny!
Homer Woohoo Icon We're stealing stuff?! Woo-hoo!

End Edit

While these Alternate Homers are visiting your Springfield, keep sending them to Plunder the Multiverse!
 
— System Message.


What's the Matter? Pt. 2 Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon This exotic matter the Homers obtained is fascinating! What a boon to science!
Marge Serious Icon That's nice, Professor Hawking, but the robots are still attacking! I know it's hard to see at this pixel resolution, but a lot of us have very serious wounds.
Stephen Hawking Icon Well, there's not much I can do about that. We'll just have to get used to living in a world where a never-ending line of robots are continually murdering us.
Stephen Hawking Icon Science offers no means to stop them.
Ned Icon Then it's time for prayer!
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon Oh, Lord.
Ned Icon That's the spirit, Professor! We call upon the Lord to smite these wicked robots! Everyone, bow your heads in prayer to the Almighty One...
Ned Dreamy Icon The Sky Finger.

What's the Matter? Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Ned Icon Seeing the finger of God smash the robots of science makes ya think, doesn't it, Dr. Hawking?
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon I'm always thinking! What does it look like I'm doing?
Bart Icon Don't have a cow, man! That's what I used to say as a boy.
Stephen Hawking Deadpan Icon The Sky Finger is not a god. It's a natural phenomenon, easily explainable by, uh, basic laws of physics that we don't yet understand.
Ned Icon Then how is it that the Sky Finger can make us do his or her bidding, with a simple tap of his or her mighty finger?
Bart Icon Let's just assume it's a him.
Bart Sneaky Icon And that his cubicle is littered with vending machine pastry wrappers.
Stephen Hawking Icon I respect your ludicrous blathering, Ned. But the Sky Finger does not control me.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Icon Okay. I acknowledge that the Sky Finger is an entity of power. But it's still not a god.
Stephen Hawking Intense Icon For no god would force me to spin records all day!
Ned Icon The Lord works in mysterious ways. Can I get an amen and a little more subwoofer?

What's the Matter? Pt. 4 Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Deadpan Icon Whatever the Sky Finger is, it must be governed by the laws of science. To fall back on supernatural explanations means giving up the will to understand our universe.
Ned Dreamy Icon Understanding is overrated. Just do as the Sky Finger commands, and enjoy the calming numbness of true faith.
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon Never! As an independent thinking being, I choose to exercise my free will and ponder the nature of the Sky Finger!

What's the Matter? Pt. 5 Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Curious Icon Logic demands that we consider an alternate hypothesis. Perhaps we're all actually living in a simulation... a virtual world manipulated by the Sky Finger.
Professor Frink Icon Like a video game?
Stephen Hawking Deadpan Icon No, nothing like that.
Marge Serious Icon Professor Hawking, while you're gassing on, the robots are continuing their attack! Luckily it's mostly stab wounds so far. But still, the sheer quantity of stabbing is hard on people. Particularly the children.
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon Great, now I lost my train of thought. Homer, block as many knife thrusts as you can absorb while I consider whether I'm really just a simulation.

What's the Matter? Pt. 6 Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Icon I've come to a conclusion: I am NOT a simulation. For truly, any being capable of contemplating such a question is by definition sentient.
Rev. Lovejoy Icon That's super.
Stephen Hawking Icon I may never understand the Sky Finger. But that doesn't diminish my personal dignity.

What's the Matter? Pt. 7 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon I've come to a new conclusion: the Sky Finger is a Sky Jerk!
Ned Angry Icon Blasphemy! Thou'st mayn't taketh the Finger's name in vain!
Stephen Hawking Deadpan Icon The Finger giveth and I giveth the finger.
Ned Angry Icon Clever. But still blas-diddly-asphemous!
Stephen Hawking Icon I'm tired of thinking so hard. And I'm tired of rolling up and down stairs! Haven't you people ever heard of a ramp? It was invented thousands of years ago! What kind of society has black hole generators, but no ramps?!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Quimby Icon By the power vested in me by the unelected superdelegates, I hereby decree that all buildings are now required to have ramps.
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon Thank you.
Quimby Icon Let us bow our heads and pray to Sky Finger that such ramps might miraculously be built.
Stephen Hawking Annoyed Icon Oh, for Finger's sake! Just forget it, I'll use the stairs.

What's the Matter? Pt. 8 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Icon Perhaps I've been viewing this through the wrong lens...
Bart Sad Icon Like that time I put on Milhouse's glasses and caught lice.
Stephen Hawking Icon If the Sky Finger is an intelligent, albeit non-divine being, physics may not be the best approach to understanding it.
Stephen Hawking Icon Instead, I need to employ that lowest of pseudo-sciences... psychology.
Marvin Monroe Annoyed Icon I take offense! Psychology is the most rigorous of the self-help infomercial sciences.
Stephen Hawking Deadpan Icon Sky Finger, it's time you and I had a serious discussion.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon Observation: this rocket chair makes ramps obsolete. And it's, like, totally fun!

What's the Matter? Pt. 9 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon I get it now! The Sky Finger is merely a cosmic child! A powerful being with infinite time to waste!
Stephen Hawking Happy Icon To keep the Sky Finger happy, we just need to offer it things to play with!
Rev. Lovejoy Happy Icon Just as the ancients offered up blood sacrifices unto the Almighty!
Stephen Hawking Icon Yes. Except instead of a freshly slaughtered goat, we'll offer it digital shrubbery, brightly colored dumpsters, and other such treasures.
Ned Icon So science and religion are in agree-diddly-eement?
Stephen Hawking Icon It's not an agreement! More of a, uh, covenant.
Ned Surprised Icon No fair, that's our word!
Marge Icon This is all well and good, but what about the army of bloodthirsty robots invading from another dimension?
Stephen Hawking Deadpan Icon I heard you the first time, Marge.
Stephen Hawking Icon We'll let the Sky Finger play with the PolyVac. That'll keep its juvenile mind busy so I can think without him tapping me all the time.

End Edit

This story will continue in the second act. For now, keep playing with the PolyVac; get more cool "treasures"!
 
— System Message.


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