Wild Wild Willie
Ordnance Express Sidebar


Wild West 2016 Event

Level Required


Release Date

May 03, 2016

Number of Quests


Wild Wild Willie is a side quest line involving the building Ordnance Express. It was released on May 03, 2016, during the Wild West 2016 Event.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Wild Wild Willie Pt. 1 Build Ordnance Express
Make Willie Shop For Guns and Ammo
Wild Wild Willie Pt. 2 Make Willie Impatiently Wait For a Gun 24h Cash100
Wild Wild Willie Pt. 3 Make Willie Lie in Wait 8h Cash100

Dialogue Edit

Wild Wild Willie Pt. 1 Edit

Character Dialogue
Willie Happy Icon Finally! There's a gun store in town!
Herman Angry Icon I've been selling guns here for ages!
Homer Icon And Bloodbath & Beyond came to town last year.
Willie Angry Icon Willie either can't, or won't, read. Willie forgets which. The end result is the same, Willie supposes.
Willie Icon Anyway, this store has a giant gun on the sign. So that's where I'm goin'!

Wild Wild Willie Pt. 2 Edit

Character Dialogue
Willie Icon Is this the right gun for shooting squirrels on a busy kids' playground?
Squeaky Voice Teen Icon It's NRA-approved for just that use! With stopping power like this, you can make an awful lot of kids safe from terrorists. Add this optional hair trigger, and the safety really shoots through the roof!
Willie Angry Icon Willie's not out to protect kids! Willie can't stand the wee devils!
Willie Icon I need this gun to stop the squirrels from stealing mah twigs, string and lint. I'm trying to make a nest here, too, after all!
Squeaky Voice Teen Icon Ok sir, but there's a waiting period.
Willie Angry Icon Argh!

Wild Wild Willie Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Willie Happy Icon Finally! I got me boomstick and it's time for a proper reckonin'!
Willie Icon Do these rodents really think they can outsmart Willie...
Willie Angry Icon ...just because their scores on standard intelligence tests are significantly higher than Willie's?

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Willie Icon Ack, I must've dozed off.
Willie Angry Icon Me gun! The rodent has run off with it!
Willie Icon You win this one ya' buck-toothed bedbug.
Willie Sad Icon Looks like Willie's movin' back to the culvert. Well, I WAS starting to miss the odor of pig farm runoff.

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